Eyre Affairs

2009-05-23T16:41:00.003-04:00

"Now I have performed the part of a good host..." ~ Jane Eyre

The Prince and I are hosting our first gathering...and I am slightly giddy about it. It certainly is apropos that it is the kickoff to summer, for each day with him is like the brightest day on the beach. I realize this is the first of many gatherings will be host and hostess for together, and it is a great feeling: being with the man I love and the people we love. This is as good as it gets...

Since my place is small, its a small gathering, and as much as I wish we could have a big party, it just is not possible right now. Still, my new patio is big enough to host a party of seven, and that is what we are doing on Monday.

I admit that I fuss over barbecues. I like doing tablecloths, small centerpieces, and matching colors (this will be a nice blue). My kitchen table cant be seen at the moment; it is filled to capacity. Paper plates, a basket for plastic utensils, plastic blue tablecloths, bags of popcorn, chips, and pretzels, a big bottle of wine for sangria, orange soda for the sangria, retro ketchup and mustard bottles, napkins, aluminum pans, bottles of Arizona Sweet Tea, serving bowls, jars of mayonnaise, two boxes of shell pasta for the salad, a small bottle of Bourbon for the baked beans, hamburger rolls, toothpicks, table cloth holders. The beer is all in a big box by the fridge: Young's Double Chocolate Stout, Shock Top, Coney Island Albino Python, Troeg's Sunshine Pils, and of course Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde.

The premise of the barbecue is a Burger Battle. Three couples, us included, will submit a burger to our dear friend Moo, who has been in Uganda doing dissertation work on Mangabeys for the past year and a half and is definitely the best palate to use for choosing the best burger! So for now, the main course of the menu is top secret! I am also making a pasta salad with red pepper, green pepper, tarragon, and scallions, a lime and cumin cole slaw, and baked beans with bourbon and bacon. For dessert I am baking Strawberry Cheesecake bars. There will be watermelon and clementines too. Hopefully lots of cocktails and even some pineapple upside down cake shots! http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink7884.html

As fun and wonderful as I know the gathering will be, half the fun is already happening in the planning with him. Paper and pen in hands, throwing ideas around about the perfect burger, talking types of charcoal and wood chips...its all the start to many barbecues to come. And I know that we are going to be amazing hosts, because, well, we are just amazing at all that we do together.

At the end of the barbecue when everyone has left and we are done cleaning up and exhausted, I cannot wait to just kiss him and hug him...and high five him because I know we are winning the contest!

2009-05-16T12:49:00.010-04:00

"My being longed for renewal..." ~ Jane Eyre

It has been the longest of winters literally and figuratively.

For those who know me, you would think there were previous moments in my life where I would have truly felt my innocence lost, but this past winter was truly a time when I felt nothing would ever be the same again. Death of friends, death of a former way of American economic life, even the death of two baseball stadiums that were filled with important memories I have of both grandfathers. The winter itself lingered a long time here; I wore my winter coat up until three weeks ago, still waking up to the cold and needing warmth during my morning commute. The light of the warm sun of spring just never seemed in sight. I felt like Jane Eyre during her long days of depression and fog after she travels a harsh road away from Thornfield.

But then, Jane awakens, and is finally able to enjoy life again...and return to Thornfield. Nothing is ever the same there...except one thing: her love and happiness with Rochester. Throughout all of this, the Prince and I have grown stronger, as has our love. And, thankfully, as the warmth of the sun has finally arrived and the flowers are in bloom (such as the one in the photo from my garden), our lives feel like they have blossomed once again.

All of a sudden life has become happy again. It wont ever be the same, but at least life feels more and more back to normal now that spring is upon us.

2009-03-28T14:59:00.020-04:00

“Then you have some secret hope to buoy you up and please you with whispers of the future?” ~ Jane Eyre

The images on the passbooks from the bank are apropos: flowers. One has a large pink rose, and the other has orchids. He teased me about it this morning at the bank, but I think that they are the perfect covers, housing the contents of our blossoming future together.

Late this morning we planted the first financial seeds of our future as partners and opened up a savings account and a CD. Right now its not much, but within a year or so it will grow as its fed, and it is going to be exciting to see what they will look like when they bloom. Our new bathroom with dual sinks? A portion of our wedding reception? Whatever it is, it is going to be absolutely wonderful.

I cannot think of a better morning...I woke up in his arms and stayed there, not having to daydream at all because it is never necessary when your dream is literally holding on to you. Kisses filled the morning, even en route to the bank. When we sat down together and did the paperwork, I felt such a sense of inner bliss like I have never felt before. It was the first of many times we would sit side by side at the bank. The future holds checking accounts, a mortgage, college funds for our children, retirement funds. And through it all I know I will look over at the Prince with as much love and admiration as I did this morning, proud to be by his side and even more proud of the team we make together.

After the bank, we had lunch together and I was literally resisting the urge to skip in the parking lot and in the gourmet deli. The sun was shining and after we parted with kisses this afternoon, I came home and walked down the path and saw, for the first time this season, crocuses growing and beginning to bloom in the garden.

2009-03-22T07:44:00.000-04:00

"Besides mortar and marble and wood-work had followed upon it..." ~ Jane Eyre

I open the new door that is so new it has yet to be stained into the kitchen's foyer, and immediately my eyes are blinded to the new details of the kitchen and focus only on him.

He is in a tight black t-shirt that has splashes of dried grey compound on it and jeans with splatters of mustard-colored paint. However, the true accessory to his outfit is: the tool belt.

The Husky tool belt.

He is talking to me and I have no idea what he is saying. I am all about the belt, and how attractive it looks around his waist.

"HONEY?"

I snap out of it and then share with him how much I love this look of his. I start to pout, though. The Prince has worked on my car, he has installed a deadbolt on my door, and he has even done other work with his power tools...not once has he worn the belt. Humph. I start complaining and he says we dont have time and lets get to the store.

Tonight's store excursion has become a favorite of mine: The Home Depot.

There is nothing more adorable than watching the Prince in Home Depot. Its like a little kid in a candy store. Re-doing the kitchen has given us opportunities to go, and each time we make a run, we have to designate an hour at least. There is no such thing as running in and out with him. Every trip always includes at least ten minutes in his favorite place: the tool corral.

Ah, the tool corral. I get handed hammers and he asks, "Now isnt that a great grip?" I am shown power tools he wants and pretend like I know what the function of the tool is. He stares at the huge tool drawers with a twinkle in his eye, and I hope one day to surprise him with them for his workspace. He talks to me about the difference between Husky tools and others, and points out various models of DeWalt drills. I nod and smile, not really paying attention to the details but paying full attention to how cute he is when he explains. I love it, love it, love it.

Tonight we need a triangle (I have no idea what it is for but apparently its only found in the bathroom tile aisle) and we venture down there. He then tells me that the next project after the kitchen is the bathroom, and that he wants me to pick out the tile. Readers, this is because one day it will be the bathroom we share. I smile inwardly and then he tells me he wants to do it himself. I tell him that I am insisting on being his "helper" for the entire project and that it is a joint venture. No readers, it is not because I am passionate about DIY projects...I will learn and assist him, but the selfish reason for my assistance is because I can look at him wear a tool belt all day.

After a brief discussion about dual sinks and recessing the medicine cabinet, I then realize that since I am assisting, I also need my own toolbelt. I tell him this a day later on the phone. I want a pink one...and I cant wait to wear it.

http://www.pinktoolbelts.com/

2009-03-15T08:56:00.013-04:00

"I am afraid you have had a tedious ride..." ~ Jane Eyre

Images from my subway morning rides...

She must have gotten off the Jersey Path train. She has teased bangs and I hear Jon Bon Jovi's voice rocking from the earphones of her Ipod the moment she sits down next to me on the crowded train. The cliche is so cliche it isnt cliche. So, I close my eyes and listen to Jon singing about giving love a bad name...and for a moment I pretend I am also a Jersey Girl.

I rise automatically when a child enters the car. The moms are always grateful to me...sometimes I even am trusted to take the child and seat them when the train is crowded. The mornings are filled with half asleep rugrats with Dora backpacks going to school, quiet and cute. Sometimes the sleep from their eyes leaves them and they chat with me about Diego (one time a little boy took a book out and wanted to read it to me). I then think about Jack, of course, and miss him terribly in the early morning.

They are young, wearing wedding bands and looking tired on their early morning commute. They are standing in front of me holding the rail above. The entire ride they managed to somehow stay physically connected, whether it was a hand right at his coat or his hand by her arm. It was as fluid as the train, the way their two bodies connected, though barely touching. I think of the Prince in this moment and then get jealous of this couple. I would love taking my early morning commute with him...what bliss that would be. I imagine us quiet, sipping coffee, and me working hard to nuzzle my head into his shoulder if we were able to get a seat next to each other.

She is reading "Great Love Letters of Great Men Volume I" like Carrie did from the "Sex and the City Movie" and I realize I do want to get a copy of it myself to read. He is reading the latest David Baldacci novel, as do most men on this train - is it a guy thing? I am always amazed by the women who openly expose the covers of romance novels with the half-naked men and women touching in what is apparently a wind storm because their hair and shirts and dresses are blowing...I just would be too embarrassed. I get tempted to speak to the college student if they are next to me reading a classic, like "Their Eyes Were Watching God" but then realize its way to early in the morning for a book talk...and I have yet to have my coffee anyway. You cant talk about books until you have coffee.

I always know who is getting off at my stop - Wall Street - even if I have never seen them before. I admit that I get a high getting off at Wall Street each morning. Despite everything, its a great place to work and I am proud of where I work and I am proud I made it as a working girl down there. When the subway door opens and I exit, my chin is always up.

The Metro and AM New York are always read, and I peek at the latest headlines since I rarely pick them up even though I like the Metro. Sometimes I see a Post or Daily News, but the majority is always the Times (which I read online on my Blackberry). Ironically, I see The Wall Street Journal quite infrequently. It has a distinctive peach tone in the paper that makes it easy to spot. My manager tells me I should be reading that instead of the "rag" known as the Times. Oh, I disagree, boss! Sometimes I get whacked with the Times because its a hard paper to maneuver reading on a crowded subway...there is a trick to it, but I don't mind when it happens because I want people reading that paper.

My eyes are closed and I feel the rhythm of the train pass through 14th Street, Chambers, Park Place...

I am tired and want nothing more to be snuggled up somewhere with the Prince under a big comforter and lots of pillows with no alarm on. Most mornings on the subway, this is my thought...

2009-02-08T10:27:00.013-05:00

"... and a story-book" ~ Jane Eyre

The breeze is warmer and my hands feel like the ice around them has melted, and so I am here typing on one of the most special days in my heart.

Today is the anniversary of my first kiss with the Prince.

I always think about our first kiss and remember the lines from The Princess Bride: “Since the invention of the kiss, there have only been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.” I believe in my heart that the kiss we shared one year ago on this very day is one that left them all behind.

I placed my glass of chardonnay down on the side area of the bar, next to his glass of Scotch. We had been there a few hours, all the while my heart pounding every second of every minute of being around him. I grew warm under my woolen Free People dress, trying to control my breathing as much as possible. I had to focus carefully on my words, but the closer we got to that moment, the harder it became for me. I remember being mid-sentence and then noticing a spark in his bedroom eyes that made me stammer. Moving upwards towards my cheek was his hand; his fingers touching my skin rendered me speechless. I closed my eyes and within the dark amber light behind my eyelids I remember the emotion I felt as our lips touched for the first time. It was better than any storybook fairy tale kiss, because this was real and the stories are fiction. First and foremost was a pure feeling of joy. And although at that time we did not know where our story would take us, it felt more perfect and right than any other action in my life.

We kissed for hours that night, and I don't really think that the kiss will ever end. The beauty is that there have been so many unique kisses within our one, big, great kiss. But it is still always that one great kiss even today, even last night, even later on this evening when we go back to the bar to order drinks at celebrate our kiss.

I was thinking about all of the places we have kissed in the year this morning when I woke up. The galleries in the MET. The breezey and cool Jersey shore. The mountains in the Catskills. In front of Jack at IHOP when he told us "no kissing!" During football games on Sundays. His bed. My bed. The wineries on the North Fork. My car. His car. Movie theatres. The New York City Subway. The kitchen. My doorstep. The bookstore. His backyard. The fabric office. On a dance floor. The aisle of Patel Brothers. 7-11. Barefoot Peddler. The swimming pool. A moonlit street corner of New York City. After eating falafel at Naomi's Kosher Pizza Kitchen. The bathtub. Through his driver side window when he comes to pick me up from the train station.

Each time as wonderful as the last, and no doubt as special as the next.

Wesley and Buttercup have nothing on us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JF6DGe2wUco

2009-01-25T21:44:00.002-05:00

"A voice exclaimed..." ~ Jane Eyre

It is late Sunday night and I am sipping banana vanilla liquor with skim milk and ice (the bottle came recently as a souvenir from St. Martin) and smelling my new cinnamon platter (another kind gift from my sister's trip), wishing there were lots and lots of words on that platter to take and devour here on this blog. Last night the Prince turned to me, as he has a few times in the past month, bringing up the subject of the blog. "I know, I know" I say.

I know.

Somewhere in this cold winter my voice seems to have gone into hibernation...huddled tightly amidst the cold that brought on by life's tragic circumstances. Though, as days become more manageable, I am beginning to feel a thaw...perhaps a fresh ray of sunlight through all of this...and work to wake up this voice that has been resting.

Tuesday I enter my 31st year, and that is the day that I hope this voice is reborn...

2009-01-10T17:30:00.011-05:00

"The cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber..." ~ Jane Eyre

Snow is falling on New York City and the surrounding areas, mine included. It is quiet and still outside save a few notes here and there from a few birds eating seed out of our birdhouse shaped like a Victorian three-story home.

I am home, alone, and keeping my own self warm. I am rather cold-blooded and lack good circulation - the Prince jokes that perhaps I am a Vampire. At the moment, I am up to reading the third book in the Twilight series, Eclipse, and just read four chapters this late afternoon. I admit that as hard as I resisted, I have become a fan of this unique series. I suppose it is the passion between Bella and Edward that is captivating, and Meyers has a talent for touching into that deep yearning and longing one feels when she is in love with a Prince. Art imitates life, and the obstacles the couple faces are long and difficult, but they remain a solid unit in the end despite all of their turmoil.

I am bundled up in a grey turtleneck sweater and the heat dial reads 80 and I still have two pairs of socks on. I made soup: Curried Butternut Squash and Apple. I have every intention of spending at least an hour in a hot shower tonight - I just cannot seem to shake a chill I have had since getting home from errands around noon today. Football is on in the background, of course, and I cannot imagine fans watching these playoff games in this weather. I look forward to watching the Giants game tomorrow underneath a pile of blankets next to the Prince in bed.

I would like to take a walk in this snow, but I am too exhausted. In the wake of Anthony's death, I am still drained emotionally and physically from the aftermath. I realize today that its not even one month yet...that what seems so long ago is so close. I am still not able to get warm...

2009-01-04T18:35:00.014-05:00

"Improvements in diet..." ~ Jane Eyre

Good Things Monday:

1) Weight Watchers Smart Ones Desserts: I am officially on Weight Watchers as of tomorrow and many of the products that Weight Watchers makes are life savers, mainly the desserts. I have a pretty bad sweet tooth, so I am grateful that I dont have to worry about giving up sweets as I do this!
http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx

2) Valentine Trees: As a child in elementary school, I remember my friend Tea's mom (who is amazingly creative and an amazing cook) keeping up one of three artificial Christmas trees after the holiday and turning it into a Valentine Tree. I did not have time to truly enjoy my tree this year. Aside from that fact, my anniversary with the Prince IS Valentine's Day. So, tonight I am starting to put together my Valentine tree! I am sewing my skirt tonight (black velvet with red roses on it) and will mount the top - a huge heart. I shall show photos when I finish here on my blog. http://www.ehow.com/how_13854_decorate-valentine-tree.html

3) Foot Spahhhhs: Among many of my Christmas gifts from the Prince, I got an at-home foot spa kit for the days when my feet really hurt after having to ride the subway. Forget sitting anywhere with it but on your couch (there is a splash guard on it) while your feet soak in it as you sip some tea. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FHAMXI

4) The New York Times Magazine: The editors noted that the food section each Sunday is going to be an ecclectic assortment to come. I had the pleasure of reading today an article about a food editor's four year old son who LOVES to cook with him...and cooks well! Enjoy:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/04/magazine/04food-t-000.html?_r=1&ref=magazine

5) H&M: Yes, its not a new store at all. But these days if you dont have money for a new wardrobe, they have the BEST accessories to spice up your current wardrobe. Cheap earrings, scarves, rings, bracelets. You name it! You can change the look of your usual outerware in a matter of moments. http://www.hm.com/us/#/holiday2008/

2009-01-01T00:07:00.014-05:00

"The New Year had been celebrated..." ~ Jane Eyre

My New Year's resolution is simple: be greedier.

It may strike one as an odd resolution at first, but it actually is not. Its the best resolution one can give herself, and I have every intention of sticking to this resolution.

I am going to want more time savoring what is best in my life. I do so already, but one can never be too rich in the simple pleasures and serene beauty of everyday moments with a lover, with friends, and with family. I do not take my blessings for granted, but I can take a little bit more from life. In the wake of the tragedy that has ensued, this is a promise to myself. I am taking more...much more...bowlfuls more.

More dates set to cook with Jack. More reasons to gather friends around me. More time for myself. More moments for creativity. More time to sip my coffee rather than gulp it. More time for my body to slim down. More time to blog. More time on the phone with my parents when we talk. More indulging in cookbook recipes. More naps on weekends. More champagne drinking when at a bar. More days at the beach this summer. More cocktails with umbrellas in them. More music for the Ipod. More comedies and less dramas.

When I am with the Prince, more minutes before our lips part during a kiss, more time holding each other, more pauses so I can stare into his eyes, more time away together on weekend getaways, more nights just sitting on the couch drinking scotch, more cooking meals together in the kitchen, more lazy days playing Star Wars video games, more days out on the town in Manhattan, more time together with each other's families.

Happy New Year to my dear readers - may you be greedy this year and enjoy each moment of life....

2008-12-26T11:15:00.002-05:00

A special thank you to K( (www.sparringk9.blogspot.com) who once again created Christmas CD's for her readers this year. I look forward to them each year, and this year was even more special since it was a tough season to get through. Thank you, my beloved K9, for this wonderful gift of your amazing talents. It made me smile after the tears...

2008-12-26T08:14:00.003-05:00

"Had not yet found that peace of God which passeth all understanding..." ~ Jane Eyre

The photo above is one I took a week ago in the early hours of dawn. A blanket of snow had just covered New York, and I stepped outside the door to my apartment, where this classic latern is located, with my camera to try and caputure this serene moment. I had slept another unrestful night and sought some refuge for peace and quiet outside.

To me, the paradigm of peace is the outdoors after a snowfall. There is nothing but a calm silence that permeates the air the snowflakes fall in. The white on the ground is indicative of purity itself, and something about it all just envokes serenity in the heart.

I look to the latern and hope to find some light in my heart, for it has been heavy these past two weeks. I thank all those who left comments of kindness here; they mean so very much. My Christmas was blessed, and I am so thankful to have spent it with the love of my life and my family. The Prince told me that I must start writing again, and I shall. Another day or so and I shall...

2008-12-15T00:22:00.003-05:00

My dear, sweet, beloved Prince's best friend has died...Eyre Affairs is on hiatus this one week....may you all hold your family close more than ever and may you call your friends and express your love for them this week.

2008-12-12T08:13:00.009-05:00

"The pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound audible..." Jane Eyre

He texts me to ask what train I am on, and I tell him the time. He then asks if he can pick me up at his station, the one right before mine. His explanation is "so you do not have to walk in the rain."

So there I am, on a commuter train sitting in a window seat with the book I am currently reading, The Life of Pi, open, and I read this text message. All of a sudden I instinctively turn to the window and repress my tears. The rain drops falling slowly down the window pane of the train reflect my inner thoughts. The urge to cry tears of joy is also mixed in with a pleasurable frustration at the situation.

I want to text him: Baby, since the day we became one, I never walk in the rain anymore.

But I don't.

He knows that already...so I wipe the few tears away from my eyes and smile a smile that grows wider and wider until I reach the passenger seat of the car. At that moment, the smile folds my lips into the shape I most love - the shape of my lips on his.

2008-12-08T20:09:00.018-05:00

"Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully..." ~ Jane Eyre

I have decided to start a new Monday tradition - Good Things. I will post for the next few Mondays during this season of sharing of what I think are good things and hope you will experience them as well!

1) A Good Blog: A close and dear friend of mine, whom I have known since fifth grade when we rode the school bus together, has started a new blog: http://senseandsensibilites.blogspot.com/ I am enjoying a side of him I never knew, even after all these years: his writing! Its a good thing, and I am tagging him (and all you other bloggers) to post your own "good things" this week on your blogs!

2) A Good Eat: My dear sister Missy knows my sweet tooth all too well, and she bought me a favorite goodie around Christmastime: Williams Sonoma Peppermint Bark! Its definitely a lovely item to serve after Christmas dinner, paired with a hot chocolate bar, of course! http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/fd471/index.cfm

3) A Good Bargain: I am a fan of the dollar store around this time of year. They have quality gift bags and plenty of good wrapping - there is no need to spend a lot on trimmings, and I find that the wine gift bags at my local dollar store are so lovely - they look like velvet covers. I even bought a few decorations for outdoors (I will post photos in another entry). A good website to help stay frugal in these times is here...I read it daily:http://www.walletpop.com/

4) A Good Cause: It is wonderful that so many people donate to charities this time of year. Sadly, so many are hurting because corporate sponsorship is down. I am still advocating donating to sarcoma research in hopes of a cure to this terrible form of cancer. You can donate here: http://www.curesarcoma.org/

5) A Good Read: I have been reading many food essays lately, and my favorite collection is something you will want for your collection. I devoured this book last month during my commute to and from the city each day. It is called Alone in the Kitchen with Eggplant. The essays are all about dining alone. http://www.aloneinthekitchen.com/ Oh, there are some great recipes for nights you are home alone, too!

6) A Good Article: Being Armenian, it is important to always remember the struggle of my ancestors. This is a great article from yesterday's New York Times Magazine by an Armenian-American author I admire and whose works I have read, Peter Balakian. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07lives-t.html?_r=3&ref=magazine

7) A Good Song: Lately I have been downloading some classical Indian music. Dating the Prince has opened me up to a gorgeous culture, and the music is as intoxicating as his aura. You can do some of your own listening here...performed by American college students at Wesleyan! It is as perfect as any Indian musical performance! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwdDm3UO5WM What these students have accomplished is mind blowing (make sure you read the lovely comments).

8) A Good Laugh: Jack has been watching reruns of the old Muppet Show that my sisters and I watched as kids. This particular montage, "Mahna Mahna" makes him laugh hysterically: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTXyXuqfBLA

9) A Good Burger: Two weeks ago the Prince and I did date night: dinner and a movie. We saw the film Twilight, and beforehand we ate at Five Guys Famous Burger! It was quite indulgent, but a great burger. Hopefully you have one in your area...I do recommend it for date nights! Oh, get the Cajun fries...those are a good thing! http://www.fiveguys.com/home.aspx

10) A Good Look: Commuting in the cold now makes me eye sweaters, but not just any. Not only do I love the Old Navy Sweater commercial from last year with a song that makes me always think of the Prince ("The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson). Check out this good sweater from this season in a great colors: http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=43069&pid=611846&scid=611846082

2008-12-06T23:14:00.001-05:00

"About a little child..." ~ Jane Eyre

This is, by far, one of my favorite photos of my nephew ever. The past few years he has had nice photos with Santa, but this is, by far, the sweetest one. It captures the quintessential innocence, love, and joy children feel for this mythical "Father Christmas" who serves as a symbol of hope and magic. Jack does not associate Santa with toys...rather...he is the teacher of the boy who wouldnt believe from The Polar Express. He continues to love watching the film each day this Christmas season, and now he also has an actual train set to run around the Christmas tree! For Jack, Santa is the man who gives the little boy his sleigh bell to ring and hear hope from. :)

2008-12-04T18:25:00.016-05:00

"The dining-room doors were thrown open, and, as it was Christmas-time..." ~ Jane Eyre

I have been ill for almost a week, home for the past few days, and grateful to be emerging from this awful cold that hit me quite hard. This late afternoon it finally dawned on me that it is, indeed, Christmastime. The adrenaline from that thought was enough to make me feel even better, and I spent the late afternoon in bed with pen in hand and holiday cards. I grabbed my Christmas music cd's and have had Sarah McLaughlin's Wintersong playing for a few hours now, the melodies beautiful to hear over and over again. Over the past few days, my sisters and I have begun to exchange emails about the menu for Christmas day. Jack's holiday photo arrived in my mailbox today as well, making it quite bright and merry indeed. I ordered part of the Prince's gift this afternoon, and I made a list of what Jack shall receive from his Aunty...all cooking related, of course! This holiday season also brings Cassie's wedding a few days before Christmas, making it even more of a magical time.

What I am most excited for is, of course, spending my first holiday season with the Prince. He had mentioned this a few months back, and I know it is going to be special just for the mere fact that he is a significant part of my life. This weekend we shall trim my tree, and that is always the aspect of Christmas I look forward to the most. Though we are in an inter-religious relationship, his family has put trees up over the years, so he knows the routine as well as I do. My plan is to actually lay out the ornaments first and put on my Christmas Cocktail cd as we trim (it has my favorite rendition of I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm sung by Dino). I have either peppermint, cinnamon, or regular hot chocolate to choose from as well. My plan as of now is to make dinner - mushroom risotto with smoked gouda - and have that before we get to the tree trim.

In a week and a half, J.Sarah and I will do our annual "Holi-day" in NYC! I think this is now our fourteenth year of making it a point to go see the tree together! We have made entire days out of it, but this year it will be a shortened version of seeing the tree and going to La Bonne Soup to have some Croque Madames and Branade! Despite how hectic life is, we just cannot miss this day...its already a huge part of our history as friends! I recall the days I used to make itineraries for us back in high school...oh how I wish I had those somewhere! Well, they are in my heart regardless.

Another tradition I enjoy is watching A Muppet Christmas Carol with my twin. We got into this groove as children and it just has not ended! I think there is something about it that brings us back to Christmases as children together, and its nice to revisit that. I asked my father to actually get the VHS tapes of one Christmas morning on to DVD - Robin and I were 7 and Missy was 11. It was the year of My Pretty Pony, Star Wars figures, a pewter Unicorn necklace that still sits in my jewelry box and a paperback copy of How The Grinch Stole Christmas from my parents who inscribed it and I still have it to this day.

What is most wondrous about this Christmas is that Jack is aware of it. Seeing it through his eyes this year will be priceless, indeed....

I cannot wait.

2008-12-01T18:12:00.004-05:00

"The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they are..." ~ Jane Eyre

I wanted to write about Thanksgiving...the weekend...the beautiful moments with family, friends, and my Prince...the gatherings and the smiles. I just cannot right now. I am too angry and too depressed to do so. All I see in my head is Moshe's Holtzberg's face, seen above, and him calling for his mother echoing through my head during her funeral service..he having been drenched in her blood a few days ago.

If I am thankful for one thing over the past few days, it is for the heroic Indian woman named Sandra Samuel, who not only rescued the two-year old baby, but will forsake her life in India to go to Israel and be with the child right now for his sake. She is selfless to the core, though making it harder to comprehend how such evil can exist in the same world as such good.

My fears mount over blaming all Pakistanis for this act of terror as well. My former landlord was Pakistani and one of the best men I know. He did marry an Indian woman...proving that harmony can exist between these two cultures that clash so much. I loathe that the media is focusing that these voices of the terrorists were speaking Urdu; I know it to be a beautiful language and the mother tongue of my landlord who gave me food from his table, never raised my rent in eight years, shared his family with me, and trusted me with his children. The media must be careful and remember that this is a small group amongst a larger one and to not go on the attack of the entire people.

At the same time, this act of hate against the Rabbi, his wife, and their son only confirms my strong believe in Zionism and the fact that I will always be dedicated to the State of Israel. I do believe that there are too many heathens out there who hate Jews so much that they will even try to kill their own brethren if they dare suggest that Muslims and Jews and Christians can live in harmony. I will never back down from my ideology that Israel cannot be divided and that a Palestinian state is only deserved when Palestinians love their children more than they hate Jews.

Once again, we were all attacked last week. Seeing Moshe's face all but kills me...

2008-11-22T10:58:00.040-05:00

"Got the start of you..." ~ Jane Eyre

All birthdays of my family and loved ones are special, but my Prince's birthday means so much more to me. He celebrated twenty-nine years two days ago. We celebrated together privately that evening, and we are also celebrating this evening with friends.

Dear readers, would you believe that last year I was invited to his birthday celebration...and declined? More on that in a moment. This post is the story of the birth of our relationship. I say relationship and not love, because I believe deep down I was born in love with this amazing man.

In the summer of 2005, my twin sister, Robin, had a housewarming party to celebrate. By this time in her life, she had befriended a new group of friends via her friend Jay, and she decided to invite them to the party. The new home was the former house of my father's parents, and I arrived early to help in the preparations. The sun was shining brightly as I began assembling a cheese plate on the counter, slicing strips of Manchego cheese (reader, believe me, I remember every detail of this meeting). The back door was open and I recall him walking in...it is as clear as day in my mind. He was wearing a black Jack Daniels tee-shirt as he walked in, and I recall his dark features and bedroom eyes. Robin introduced us, and within five minutes I observed his charm, wit, intellect, and warmth. There is something about his aura that draws people in, not just me; he is captivating. I recall him making me laugh, and I recall immediately how handsome he was...not just his face...but his entire body had my interest piqued.

In his true form, he came early to help as well. His consideration and benevolence were evident then, as they are now. I remember the small talk with him, and how social he was, and as more people arrived I was unable to chat with him as frequently as I did when we were the only ones there. Hours later, I pulled Robin to the side and asked her more about him. And that, dear friends, is the moment...is the day...that I met the man I am going to marry.

Of course, the course of true love never did run smooth.

Firstly, he and Robin were good friends...and those who are smart know that risking friendships for romance is not always wise. Still, despite repression of any kind of curiosity or desire, there were bigger forces moving us along down a path. I was dating other men in between the time I would see him at gatherings, and the one time he asked me to see Shakespeare in the Park, I declined despite my interest in him. Months later, I couldn't take it anymore and asked Robin to please set us up. I recall right after that talking with him for an hour in her dining room about Edgar Allan Poe as I graded papers. Robin was wonderful, and I knew she was procrastinating for my sake (they were going out to coffee), and she asked a few days later about a possible set up. He resisted, saying to her that "its your sister" and did not want to jeopardize their good friendship for the unknown.

So, I was heartbroken.

A few months after that, Robin told me that he was moving to Austin, Texas to work in a law firm there. My heart sank. I couldn't explain why. I was dating someone else, but I remember the devastation: the remote possibility of us ever together suddenly become the impossible. He would be gone. And that was that in my mind.

But not in my heart. For after that Robin said he was coming home. I will never forget the inward feeling of euphoria...to this day I cannot explain my emotions when she told me. She didn't even know what I felt - I just replied simply and monotone. What I do remember is asking her for his email a few days later, wanting to write to welcome him home. Reader, to this day, I have the email he sent me back. I had forgotten I had saved it, and you can imagine the nice surprise I had when I found out that I had it in my possession. Of course, I saved it for a reason...I just did not know the true reason at the time.

Still, his arrival home was not the time for us. I remember being out with him among friends once again, growing more frustrated because I was attracted to him and desired a date. I confess I became resentful and hostile that he said he did not think it was a good idea to me, so last summer I was curt and stand-offish with him at Robin's annual barbecue (we do laugh about this now). Though he came to a party I had in the summer, and my true feelings came through as I flirted with him, for I was exceptionally drunk and a drunk woman never lies. But by the time his birthday came around, I refused to go and subject myself to, what I felt, was rejection at the time (of course it was not, but I couldn't help what I felt). He was at my 30th Birthday celebration last year, and I don't even think we spoke more than a few words. I had dismissed him from my mind because it stung.

And then...Fortune decided that it was time to finally bring the lovers together. I needed to consult a lawyer about financial advice, and he was good enough to help after Robin asked him. We met at Starbucks for coffee one night to talk business, and I recall being nervous. I was getting ready as if it were a date - I was trying on different outfits and perfecting makeup - all the while telling myself I was being ridiculous. I recall him walking through the door at Starbucks, again very clearly, looking quite handsome in his black woolen coat as he carried his briefcase along side him. We sat down at 7:30pm...talked business for a half hour an hour later into the conversation...and, reader, left after Starbucks closed at 10pm and then talked in the car for over an hour after that. We spoke about everything and everything. It felt like being on a first date...that is the way the conversation naturally progressed.

The next morning I was speechless when I woke up. I was severely depressed, much to the point of silence. I woke up staring at the ceiling and recalling all that he said, confirming how much I was attracted to him and confirming that he was a Prince. It was the worst morning of my life...that I assure you, dear readers. I believed that we would not be.

That morning was a Tuesday, and Friday my colleagues were doing our usual happy hour at a bar around the corner from his home. I decided to take a chance...to call to invite him...with the reason being I wanted to buy him a beer as a thank you for his help. That was only partially true; I needed to see him again. He answered the phone and he said to call him Friday. I called him around eleven Friday morning, and later on he told me he almost didn't pick up the phone, because he knew what the true intent was. But he did pick up the phone. And he was coming. I remember racing home during lunch to get a change of clothes, my stomach gathering more and more butterflies as five o'clock approached, and my hands shaking as I reapplied makeup intermittently with emailing my friend, Laura, who was the only one who knew what was going on at the time, to try and calm me down.

I picked him up a little after five, and we arrived at the bar. For the most part, no one else existed around me, and only here and there did we mingle with my colleagues. We were there for a few hours, and all it took was one moment...one amazing moment...to make this love go down the course it was always meant to.

I was mid-sentence (probably something about Hemingway, I know he came up that night) when I felt the Prince's right palm touch my right cheek, his left hand grabbing my waist and pulling me in, and silenced by the most wonderful kiss in the history of all kisses. According to William Golding, the author of The Princess Bride, Wesley and Buttercup had one of the most amazing of five kisses in history. I think the Prince and I take one of the other four.

And so, that kiss continues and shall always continue, and that is the story of how our relationship was born. Our love...well...I think that was born somewhere far off, in a different time, orchestrated by forces that we cannot see or touch or ever know in our lifetimes.

Fast foward to a few weeks ago when I needed a t-shirt, and he handed me the Jack Daniels one. I was hesitant. There is something about that shirt that is symbolic with me, and I cant explain it rationally. In fact, I am sure its irrational...but that shirt I most associate with him. I told him, "but that is THE shirt...your signature shirt!" Alas, I slept in it that night...and have yet to return it...and even if I do...its become my shirt anyway.

What is also mine is he, and I am his. I know he is reading this, and I am so thankful for the day he was born. I love you, baby. I always have, and I always will.

2008-11-11T07:16:00.002-05:00

New recipes on:

www.epicureanescapades.blogspot.com

2008-11-10T14:50:00.004-05:00

"This lane inclined up-hill all the way to Hay..." ~ Jane Eyre

Yesterday morning I woke up in the Prince's arms and could not resist kissing him repeatedly, not feeling guilty for disturbing him even though we both could have slept a bit later. I become too excited; waking up with him always feels like Christmas morning - it is that special, indeed. I was looking forward to our day...or rather, his day. We decided to take turns deciding what the day's activities would be during this weekend getaway to the North Fork of Long Island. We were in Mattituck thanks go J. Sarah's parents giving us their vacation home for a long weekend.

Saturday was "my" day, which included eating breakfast at our favorite restaurant in Mattituck - Love Lane Kitchen. The kitchen, photographed above, is a great place for fresh coffee, delicious breakfasts, and fresh lunches. I had the special of sweet potato pancakes and the Prince had a panini with pesto and vegetables. After breakfast we arrived at the house to unpack. We then did a few errands before going wine tasting. Sadly, many wineries allow limos and party buses on weekends now, and its unfortunate because it really takes away from the lovely experience that is usually so relaxing and wonderful. The best time to go is winter and weekdays to wineries. We did do a flight at Peconic Bay, which was lovely despite the crowds. We then drove to the beach area and sat listening to music for a little while before we went back to the house for cocktails and snacking on cheese from Catapano Farms (they are a goat cheese farm and make amazing goat cheese gouda). I then made dinner - ratatouille and penne paired with Simi Chardonnay - that I will post on my food blog shortly. The rest of the evening was quiet and cozy - we so needed this downtime.

The Prince's day started the same way mine did- breakfast at Love Lane Kitchen! This time around I had an egg sandwich on a croissant and he had an omelet. We ran to get the New York Times and spent over an hour reading the paper on counter stools in the kitchen at the house with Meet the Press on in the background. Afterwards we changed into swimsuits and went into the hot tub on the deck, which felt decadent and therapeutic all at the same time. I stared at the trees above me, red and gold leaves abundant as the North Fork is experiencing the height of its foliage. After the hot tub we turned on football and got pizza for lunch. The Prince made a fire in the fireplace and we sat and watched the movie The Happening before I got up to make dinner of chicken cutlets crusted in Parmesan, potatoes au gratin, and honeyed carrots (which I will also post shortly on my food blog). After dinner, the fire was still burning as we waited for the Giants game to commence, and we sat on the couch staring at the fire, quite content, indeed.

I am sure he is reading this and thinking what I am thinking - how writing about our time together like this in chronological form does the weekend very little justice. For what made it most special are the moments we spoke, the moments we didn't have to speak, and the moments of laughter between us. Those moments stay private...always.

Besides which, I have no time to write anymore today. I promise the Prince an ode this weekend, and its time to write it for him, and him alone.

http://www.catapanodairyfarm.com/

http://lovelanekitchen.com/

http://www.peconicbaywinery.com/sitecontent.cfm?page=welcome

2008-11-05T20:31:00.000-05:00

"A paradise of peace..." ~ Jane Eyre

Vignettes From Election Night:

It is toward the early hours of projections and we are taking a short nap in his bed as CNN anchor voices fill the room with anticipation of a win, sounding like a melodic lullaby. The Prince's eyes are closed as I run my fingers through his thick, dark hair. For the first time in a long time, there is finally a calm in our breaths. Maybe we wont have to worry about our future together as much as we have been, fearing the worst for the economy and the quality of living in a tainted America. Perhaps tonight we, too, can win back our daydreams and make them a reality once more - a home, vacations to India, sending the children to Ivies. I close my eyes and continue to run my fingers through his hair and think about the lyric's from Springsteen's "No Surrender." - I want to sleep beneath peaceful skies in my lover's bed, with a wide open country in my eyes and these romantic dreams in my head - Later on that night I feel salt on my lips as I lick my tears and fall asleep with wet eyes...happy, alive, and grateful to sleep well once again. I think about my Prince and my love for him and his ideals, and how much we have shared during this election together and how integrated it is in our relationship. There is no one else I love discussing politics more with.

He calls her is rock, his best friend, and the love of his life. She emerges in red, the color of passion she has for him, her girls, her country, her belief in dreams. I watch them kiss and her whisper "I love you" into his ear, and they are able to steal a private moment together among millions of people watching - for no one can ever really surmise the true depths of their passion. I envision them at the end of the evening going home and closing the door to a world that is celebrating, lying in their own bed together, perhaps he running his fingers through her hair as they daydream about their future. It will not be easy for them, for now they have the burdens left to them from the horrible regime of eight years that has decimated so much. What has not been decimated is love - on all levels. Love of country, love of dreams becoming reality, love of partners in life. And because of that love, they, too, will sleep in each others arms with romantic dreams in their heads.

And tonight (or rather, these early hours of the morning), a man of mixed race is President of the United States, proving that America is capable of practicing the ideals it is founded on. One day mine and the Prince's children, who will be of mixed race, can look at this man and know that anything is possible in this beautiful country.

2008-11-01T14:21:00.010-04:00

"A border of gold lace..." ~ Jane Eyre

Autumn gold is in full force here on the north shore of Long Island - also known as the gold coast. I am sipping a gold chardonnay in the mid-afternoon with the windows open as fresh, fall air enters my apartment. Lately, with the new job on Wall Street, the balancing of life has become as asymmetrical as the trees in autumn- not one is the same hue. Still, life is golden and I am thankful for my job at the bank that is now the custodian for the government, my family who is doing well, my friends who are celebrating all kinds of milestones lately, and my beloved Prince who is, himself, golden in my eyes and in my heart. I am hoping that the golden candidate in my eyes becomes America's prize on Tuesday night, for him being elected right now to lead our nation is priceless. I hope that Americans realize that it is time for change, just as autumn changes the landscape of the earth, we need to change the landscape of this country. In the darkest winter ahead, he will keep us protected until spring arrives. I glance now at my voter registration card, anxious for it to be Tuesday already so I can place my finger on the bar that has the name of the first African-American candidate in history. What an amazing milestone it will be for me, in that voting booth, in that particular moment. Golden...just golden. The mere thought makes me hopeful and less anxious about the future, and I feel more relaxed in this moment and once again able to enjoy life again just a little bit more.

2008-10-26T12:32:00.016-04:00

"Sorting of currants, grating of spices..." ~ Jane Eyre

Its an early autumn afternoon and the sun is shining as the wind directs leaves to blow against my windows, making a crackling noise before they fall back to the ground. I am sipping spicy Indian chai with a splash of milk and the apartment smells like fudge brownies. I made them for this evening - the Prince is cooking dinner for us and I decided to bring something sweet to eat as we dine in and watch the Giants go for another win. Ironically, I am listening to "Spring Dance" by Ravi Shankar even though it is the quintessential fall day. I am making a list of cupcakes to order from Crumbs bakery in the city since we are celebrating Halloween once again this year with Jack (who shall be Thomas the Tank Engine). I just called Bistro 33 to make dinner reservations for next week to celebrate the engagement of my cousin and her fiance; it is quite an exciting time and they shall marry in one year at the end of October. I think a fall wedding is perfect, and I wonder if the Prince and I will marry during the fall season one day at Onteora. I am slightly anxious to hear back from my cousin, Amy, who was married this past July, and gave birth to a daughter two days ago. The baby was premature and is 3 pounds, 7 ounces. I am sure she is in great care and will be just fine, but I do wish I was in San Francisco right now giving support to my cousin. She is being very positive, so I shall do the same and try not to worry. So, I will sip some more tea and distract myself for a bit with some cooking shows on PBS...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erLZ-zW9Ti4 (George Harrison's sitar lesson with Ravi Shankar)

2008-10-22T22:40:00.005-04:00

"Amidst unutterable exhaustion..." ~ Jane Eyre

To sleepy to type or write and wishing I could get into bed and not get out for a few days! My bank is the custodian of the bailout, and as great as it is getting new clients, the work has become exhausting. If I could have anything right now in this moment, it would be a full night's and full day's sleeping with the Prince...

2008-10-17T08:58:00.000-04:00

"Because it seldom had a fire...~ Jane Eyre

I dont really know how any words would add to this photo of Jack at the open house of a local firehouse. Yes, he brought his own hat. He loves the British cartoon Fireman Sam, and he and his Aunt Maimy have been known to take the hose at his house and put out "fires" in the backyard as he is dressed in full fireman attire!

2008-10-13T09:36:00.012-04:00

"I cannot tell what sentiment haunted..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: H IS FOR HALLOWEEN

- A good witch

- The Headless Horseman (a tale native to New York)

- My Favorite Count

- Nightmare Before Christmas

- I would have waited with Linus

- A classic greeting

- Holiday cupcakes

- The quintessential trick-or-treat bag I had as a kid (safety tips and all)

- A Jack-O-Lantern

- My favorite Halloween candies

2008-10-11T08:33:00.015-04:00

"What a great place it was for one lonely little dame..." ~ Jane Eyre

Moi posted her results on Bite the Apple the other day, and I am so thankful to her for sharing this Brassy Broad Test. I took it this morning, and here are the results were not surprising. Robin and I grew up loving The Thin Man movies.

Your result for The Classic Dames Test ...
Myrna Loy
You scored 29% grit, 29% wit, 24% flair, and 36% class!

You are class itself, the calm, confident "perfect woman." Men turn and look at you admiringly as you walk down the street, and even your rivals have a grudging respect for you. You always know the right thing to say, do and, of course, wear. You can take charge of a situation when things get out of hand, and you're a great help to your partner even if they don't immediately see or know it. You are one classy dame. Your screen partners include William Powell and Cary Grant, you little simmerpot, you.

http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-classic-dames-test

There is a Classic Leading Man Test as well...I think my Prince would fall somewhere in between Clark Gable and Gregory Peck.

2008-10-10T07:22:00.000-04:00

"Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?" ~ Jane Eyre

The irony of Wednesday night’s meeting with J. Sarah, my best friend, for cocktails – a quintessential joy of a beautiful life – was at a dark, wood paneled speakeasy-esque bar called Death and Co. The last time we sat and drank was during lunch at August a little over a month ago on the day that I was processed for my new job. We sat in the back garden of the restaurant, drinking two lavender champagne cocktails a piece and enjoying the last moments of summer.

Now, weeks later, as the air cools for autumn and drinks like margaritas and daiquiris are no longer being craved, I am immersed in the financial corporate culture, I need a drink. Or, rather, drinks and indulge with one of my favorite drinking partners.

I indulge myself en route to the bar and walk leisurely down St. Mark's Place, filled with hipsters and tourists alike, patronizing funky Asian noodle shops and cheap costume jewelry stores selling pink wigs and huge bangle bracelets. I feel a little out of place, for Wall Street is a tad stuffy, and for a moment I wish I was back in college wearing my hipster knit hat from Urban Outfitters(back when it was cool and not commonplace) thinking I could save the world. I dont look back as I walk down the street, though. I am too excited about the bar and seeing J. Sarah.

Turning down East Sixth Street, I begin to walk past all of the wonderful Indian restaurants that are housed there, stopping at each and every other one to gingerly check out the menus displayed on makeshift stands on the sidewalk. Samosa chat...biryanis of all sorts...tandoori...dal. How I would love to just spend a weekend in this neighborhood sampling Indian food with my Prince. I pass a favorite of his - Taj. We have yet to eat there together, and I really would like to go back there with him in the near future. I continue to walk and daydream about the Prince until I reach the facade of the bar.

The facade is slightly intimidating, with a big wooden door and a large metal handle. I walked into darkness and had to peel back thick, velour curtains. What I saw was exactly the image you see above...only two bartenders, both in suspenders, were behind the bar and a hostess greeted me with a smile and warmth...not exactly what I expected walking into such a place. I was the first person there of the evening, J. Sarah en route, and got a corner table where I could spread out a bit and breathe. The cocktail waitress was equally warm, and when I saw that a drink I wanted "Company Buck" was no longer on the cocktail menu (what a menu, let me tell you), she had the bartender make it special for me. It was rum, ginger beer, lime juice, and a splash of pineapple with the biggest ice cubes lined up vertically perfect in a glass with a straw and symmetrically rounded lime wedge. I sipped slowly as I waited for J. Sarah, and when she arrived I was, as always, completely happy to see my most kindred spirit.

The spirit she ordered was made with gin, of course. She is not one for sweet drinks, but I found myself sipping her cocktail anyway and enjoying it. The cocktail waitress made a big to do about the orange bitter, lighting a match on the rind and creating a small, fiery show right before it landed into the caramel colored cocktail. We ordered little bites to eat - pretzel bites with honey mustard, oysters "rock a fella" (creamed spinach in an oyster shell topped with a fried oyster), pita bites, and salmon sliders. I can think of few things I love more than the combination of my best friend, cocktails, food, and laughter all at the same time. I ordered another drink - this time one called "Black Prince" that is dark and rich and delicious.

I look forward to more nights in the city like this now that I am working here...

2008-10-05T10:58:00.047-04:00

"Not unlike a picture I remembered to have seen of the castle..." ~ Jane Eyre

Royal Dining - A short play in three scenes based on actual events.

Scene I - Lady Jane's chamber at 5 o' clock in the evening on a Saturday: She is dressed inside and out in a new outfit after some early afternoon shopping, including a cranberry colored short sleeve sweater. To match the cranberry hue, her toenails were just done in a green tea pedicure in the Essie color of a deep purple called Sole Mate. She has new makeup in plum tones, including a pump and juicy lip gloss that shimmers. She is excited about date night with her Prince, and its her turn to pick the restaurant. She is thinking somewhere funky - like Rock-n-Sake in Port, where the lights are dim, the decor is hip, the sushi is extra raw, and the 'tinis are delish. She looks forward to her romantic evening of dining by low light and candles...

Scene II - The Lady's white Mercedes at 7:45pm:
The Prince: Honey, where did you choose to go to dinner tonight?
Lady Jane: Its a surprise.
The Prince: Oh come on - just tell me.
Lady Jane: No, I wanted it to be a surprise.
The Prince: You have to tell me!
Lady Jane (joking, but delivers line with straight face): Ok fine, we are going to White Castle.
The Prince (with eyes lit up, speaks excitedly): REALLY?
Lady Jane (snorting): No not really!
Silence ensues. Amy looks at the Prince...he is dejected.
The Prince: Oh.
Lady Jane: Oh my god - are you serious? NO!

Scene III - White Castle on Northern Blvd in Bayside at 8:15pm that same evening, with fluorescent lighting in abundance and the air wafting of sizzling Spam and wet, diced onions:
The Prince (to counter worker): We will have the number four - ten cheeseburgers and ten plain burgers.
Lady Jane: Wait! I want onion rings!
Worker: I can give you two fries and two onion rings
Lady Jane and the Prince in unison: Perfect!
The Prince: Oh, and two jalapeno sliders.
Lady Jane: Can we also try the chicken sliders as well?
The Prince: And two chicken sliders.

Scene IV: A half hour later in White Castle. There are over a dozen sliders still left over on the table. The Prince and his Lady are stuffed and can eat no more, but they are happy ever after.

Note: This lady had never had White Castle up until a month ago when her coworkers intervened. I was skeptical and scared, but it was so good...in a really bad caloric way.

http://www.essie.com/products/search.php?action=search&name=sole+mate%3Cbr%3E&maxhits=1

http://www.rocknsakeny.com/

http://whitecastle.ctprostore.com/

2008-10-03T20:45:00.003-04:00

"I strayed through the orchard, gathered up the apples..." ~ Jane Eyre

Jack went apple picking the other day and I saw this picture (among other great photos my sister took) and thought how perfect it is to help me wish my blog readers a very Happy Autumn! Isn't he so handsome? I can hardly believe he is three now, picking apples on his own and looking like a little old man in his cute cable sweater!

2008-09-28T21:20:00.002-04:00

"Then they seemed so familiar with French names and French authors..." ~ Jane Eyre

MUTE MONDAY: F IS FOR FRENCH (Je suis une francophile)

Jane and Adele (Rochester's ward)

Les Miz (I feel like Cosette these days and the Prince is my Marius)
La Boum (first movie watched in high school French class)
Babar (favorite elephant)
French Soap (mmmm)
Napoleon (have the complex)
Versaille (my dream house)
French chocolates (does it get any better?)
French wine (yeah, it gets better)
Gigi (J.Sarah and I love this movie and have watched it together often)
Pepe Le Pew (my favorite Looney Toon)
Monsieur Van Gogh (going to see his night exhibit at MOMA soon)
Champagne (even better!)
Fifi (sadly, she sports a Palin doo)
Brie (love it en croute)
Escargot (with lots of garlic...yum)
Sarkozy et Bruni (I love them)
Le Petite Prince (A favorite book)
Jacques Pepin (A favorite chef)
French Kiss (Among favorite moments with my Prince)
French Roast (I need coffee right now)
Eiffel Tower (one day soon)
Insulting Frenchman (Best part of Holy Grail, people)
Parisian Cafe Art (I need coffee right now in a French cafe)

2008-09-28T09:57:00.018-04:00

"I remember it now, and I know that it was the effluence of fine intellect, of true courage..." ~ Jane Eyre

The conversation about character ensued once again yesterday between me and the Prince. The Prince told me he was rethinking my placement, and expressed to me that perhaps I should also be in Gryffindor since...well...there is a lot of Hermione in me. At first I scoffed at this. Me? But then realized the fact that my Friday nights spent in the Hofstra University library studying was not going to help me in this argument. Nor were the facts of my bookish ways, sense of confidence, and corrective ways when it comes to instructing others. Still, I thought I belonged in Ravenclaw, so I took four different Harry Potter personality quizzes online this morning to confirm that. It confirmed something, all right.

I am Hermione.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last night the Prince and I decided to stay in and watch the first film, and after we got off the phone I had some ideas in my head to surprise him with and make it a special evening. First, my goal was to have butterbeer and pumpkin pie for dessert. Then I started thinking about how fun it would be to decorate a bit and use plates and napkins as part of that. Then I started thinking even more about decorating, and this is what I did:

- put a black light in my floor lamp

- lit candles everywhere

- placed spider tablecloth on table along with matching spider plates and cups

- decorated table with fake eyeballs

- purchased clear skeleton mugs for butterbeer

- got Griffyndor scarf and Harry glasses to put on the Prince as a surprise

We decided to get comfort food from our favorite local pub as takeout - burgers and spinach and artichoke dip. I had Beck's Oktoberfest beer and Smutty Nose Pumpkin Ale in my refrigerator. I also had gone to the liquor store to get Butterscotch Schnapps to make butterbeer. When he arrived, I closed the door so he couldn't see what I had done and told him to close his eyes. I led him in and then placed the scarf and glasses on him and had him open his eyes. It was a wonderful evening and I am excited to continue our plans to read the books and watch the films together. As for the butterbeer, we both loved it: one part butterscotch schnapps on ice to four parts vanilla cream soda. Mmmmm.

2008-09-27T13:13:00.014-04:00

"Raven-black, and so becomingly arranged..." ~ Jane Eyre

A few weeks ago the Prince and I made a pact to re-read the entire Harry Potter series together and then watch the films together after each book and discuss. We have completed Book I and are into Book II and shall watch the first film together this weekend. One of the conversations we already had was what house we would be in if we were Hogwart students. There is a small song sung by the sorting hat in chapter seven of the first book where the hat describes the characteristics of the students in each house. My Prince would certainly be placed in Gryffindor by the hat: "You might belong in Gryffindor, Where dwell the brave at heart, Their daring, nerve, and chivalry Set Gryffindors apart." Well, I refer to him as my Prince and knight-in-shining armor for a reason, and he would certainly be a part of that house without question. (Of course there is a little Slytherin in both of us, but that is what makes for fun in a relationship.) We then discussed my placement, and it was agreed that I would probably be a student in Ravenclaw: "Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw, If you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind."

So its a damp, rainy, and lazy Autumn Saturday afternoon and I am sipping coffee and eating chunks of fresh challah bread and browsing Harry Potter-related websites. First I look for scarves - a website sells scarves with the crest for all the houses, Ravenclaw included in lovely dark blue stripes. When we watch the second and third movies, I want to make recipes from the book to eat and drink as we watch. Some recipes I found included ones for pumpkin pasties and butter beer. Pumpkin pasties are basically savory pumpkin hot pockets and the main interpretation of butter beer is butterscotch schnapps and cream soda. I must admit that some of my favorite descriptions in J.K. Rowling's books are when she talks of the feasts and banquets at Hogwarts. Dumbledore is a man after my own heart, for at the end of book II, he calls for a feast to celebrate with a mentality I share: We came, we battled, we won...lets eat!

Of course we are also counting down the months until 2010 when The Wizarding World of Harry Potter opens at Universal Orlando. I already know I am going to start working overtime to save for that trip and make it special for the Prince after he finishes his LLM and the exam that goes along with it. I have been on the website frequently and must admit that the restaurant descriptions there excite me just as much as the attraction descriptions!

http://www.universalorlando.com/harrypotter/

http://www.harrygear.com/index.html

http://www.britta.com/hogwarts/recipes.html

2008-09-21T22:28:00.005-04:00

"The Sunday evening was spent in repeating..." ~ Jane Eyre

Sunday nights have gotten harder and harder. Its not that I dont want to go to work, because I do. I haven't had the Sunday night blues since I stopped teaching, but lately I realize that Sunday night blues sometimes don't really have anything to do with work. Honestly, I am blue tonight because there is nothing I want more than to be in bed with the Prince as he watches Sunday night football and I fall gently asleep with my head resting on his chest. (Unless of course the Giants were playing in which case I would be wide awake, screaming at Eli as if he could hear me coaching him, and making cups of coffee laced with some Frangelico so the Prince and I could stay awake to watch the Giants completely decimate the opposing team.) Alas, I am off to bed alone, feeling a tad blue, but not entirely sad because I am so happy to love someone so special whose absence makes me blue on a Sunday night...

2008-09-16T21:35:00.030-04:00

"His figure was enveloped in a riding cloak, fur collared and steel clasped..." ~ Jane Eyre

As I stood on the train platform this morning admiring the sunrise, the dreaded words came over the loudspeaker at the station. I would rather face a dragon than hear that the train was going to be late...very late...on my second day of work. If it were any other day I would have called, but not today. Its bad enough the market has had dragons breathing fire on it since yesterday morning...I needed to get to work on time. I felt horrid knowing it was so early in the morning and the Prince would surely still be sleeping, but as a damsel in complete distress, I dialed his cell phone. Thankfully he picked up, and within ten minutes my knight-in-shining armor arrived and whisked me away to the train station on the next branch line, just making the targeted train, and I got to work on time. I cannot express how grateful I was this morning to have him there. Seeing him that early really made a difference for me, and I do wish sometimes I was kissing him goodbye each morning before work. I still felt bad that I had to wake him, but I feel good knowing that we are always there for each other no matter what. Even his presence calms me, and I found myself caring more about my fingers playing with his hair as he drove than making the train as we drove down the main road. He is my knight-in-shining-armor, but I am glad he wasn't wearing a helmet this morning! As for this princess...well...sometimes days like this made me wish I was so I could stay up in my tower and sleep-in late with the Prince and then wake up together listening to alternative fife music as we drank mead, played chess, and discussed how the barter system wasn't following all of the King's compliance laws lately...and then go back into bed!

2008-09-15T18:57:00.035-04:00

"Such a wealth of the power of communicating happiness..." ~ Jane Eyre

Today wasn't exactly the ideal time to start working for a bank on Wall Street. I dodged reporters as I walked past the stock exchange towards the building where the Forex trading floor I am working on is located. Despite it being an unfortunate day for many involved in the financial industry, it was a fortunate day for me. I am working for a bank that is secure at the moment and didn't let the days downward ascension affect my upbeat mood. It may not be a day that was booming on Wall Street in the 1980's, but I still felt the surge of the East River running and enjoyed being in this silver city that rises above each and every crisis it faces.

So I arrived in a new outfit indicative of a woman working for a bank - black pants, blue button down shirt, black shoes, and a cool messenger bag and enjoyed my first day. Yes, I enjoyed it. Orientation was bearable and informative, my lunch at Au Bon Pain was yummy, meeting my new team was cool, and being a New York City working woman was just awesome. Albeit I am anxious to adjust to this new routine of work time and commuting, but I know a week or two from now those anxieties shall dissipate and I shall get a good grasp of this. The work, thankfully, is none I shall have to ever bring home (like I did when I was teaching) or have to give up weekends and nights (like I did when recruiting for the University)...and I get OT for every second I stay past my 35 hour work week. I already learned my immediate team puts family and personal well being first, so I know they are going to be a good family to me. My new boss is so hands-off; its nice knowing my intellect and work ethic is already trusted.

The transition from education and academia to corporate is not as severe as I thought it would be. I feel taken care of already in so many ways, and as big and formal as the world is, there is already a lot of warmth I have experienced today. I am proud of the years I dedicated to helping our youth, but I have realized that this new career is going to help me support myself in getting to the point of being able to have a family of my own and earning enough money to save for a family life in the near future with the Prince.

As for the Prince, I could not have gotten through this day without him. His whisking me away for a small getaway before all of this was an amazing gift, his words of encouragement about this new job are words I have been blessed with, and his aura motivates me so very much to work hard for a life that is going to be beautiful together. As much as I wish I was coming home to him tonight physically, I know I am metaphorically, and that is what makes this day worth it all.

2008-09-14T08:00:00.017-04:00

"Seemed to swim round me..." ~ Jane Eyre

For over two hours this past Friday, the Prince and I had the pool and jacuzzi at the Simsbury Inn to ourselves. It was a quiet day at the Inn, and though my plan was to relax in the jacuzzi the entire time, the Prince had other plans for me once he found out that...well...

I was never formally instructed on how to swim.

Granted, we had an above ground pool growing up in my house that was no more than four feet and I went in, underwater even, with goggles and loved being in the water. However, I was never given formal training and could no nothing more to truly stay afloat than a simple paddle. I am not always comfortable in the water - there has always been fear on some level and I have never truly been a risk taker in the water.

So with his perfect combination of patience, encouragement, and ability to tune into the best way I learn - detailed verbal instructions - he taught me the first basics of swimming, including how to truly float. I never thought twice about trusting him as he held me, and I never doubted his intuition of when to let go of me and allow me to do it on my own. After a while, I was able to not only float in the water, but thanks to his tutelage, navigate myself as I floated. He also taught me how to use my hands in the water when I swim and where to position my legs as I kicked. Granted, I shall never be Dana Torres, but I look forward to the next time I am in a pool.

Sometimes after a weekend or a getaway, the Prince asks what my favorite part of it was. As we grow together, its always harder to pinpoint a specific moment. This getaway is case and point. I loved each and every minute of it with him, especially in the pool together. With slight embarrassment but complete confidence he wouldn't tease me about it, I told him a story when we were in the pool together about how, as a young girl in my pool, I would daydream that I was a mermaid in the water, waiting for my Prince to come. Of course daydreams never truly are like reality, because my Prince is a better Prince than this mermaid ever dreamed up.

2008-09-10T10:22:00.014-04:00

"But it must be ready the moment we return..." ~ Jane Eyre

I smiled when I looked at the cover of my New Yorker yesterday evening when I returned home. The date of the issue is September 15th - the day I start my new job in the city - and the title of the cover is "New York Moment."

As a young woman, I always daydreamed about a New York City romance, and in a few short months it becomes a reality when the Prince returns for his final year in an LLM program. As hectic and busy as our schedules will be both professionally and socially, I am looking forward to the moments where we get to steal some time and meet after class and work in Greenwich Village - whether it is for naninis at the Indian Bread Company (oh how I crave those again) or chocolate martinis at the Fat Black Pussycat (something the Prince introduced me to a few months ago there). I want us to also have drinks at one of my favorite bars that will now be a few minutes away from my building, Meade's Gastropub, and I want to do a power dinner with my Esquire at Delmonico's one evening. I know we are going to make this it an Isle of joy as much as we possibly can, just as Ella sings it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCxkUPZ4ZhI

Though for now, dear readers, we are off to the country. The Prince, in all of his goodness that I am thankful for, is taking me away tomorrow to a country Inn in Connecticut as a getaway for us to relax before I begin my new professional life on Wall Street. Our plans for the next three days include nothing more than ordering room service, wearing big, fluffy bathrobes, drinking lots of Prosecco, and venturing to a local museum or two.

Until then, dear readers, have a lovely few days and remember to live each moment passionately and make it a charmed life...

2008-09-09T07:22:00.017-04:00

"There is some difference between living..." ~ Jane Eyre

There is some difference between living for the next moment and living in this moment, grateful for all of the love and beauty in life. When my father's father was dying of cancer, I was in the middle of being a high school production of Our Town. Always remembering Emily Webb's passionate plea to the Stage Manger about living life as you live it, the Stage Manager responds perhaps saints and poets do...maybe. The rest, no. Well, I consider myself a poet...and I try each day both here on this blog and in the life I lead to savor each moment because I know as long as life is, it shall not last forever.

And then there are those saints like Heather, as you see in the photo above, whose lives are tragically cut short by cancer. Although her friends and loved ones refer to her as Heather, she was also known as Dr. Vonbergen. This woman was brilliant, and before she died she was working as a psychologist that was of late working to improve the lives and mental health of recent veterans from Iraq, among all the other things she did to help others.

I am posting this for my sister, because it has pained me to see her in so much pain. There is a link below to a collage her friends made from Cortland, where she and Heather were roommates their freshman year. There are photos I will post at later dates of Heather with us at my sweet sixteen and Heather with my family in New York City for the first time. My dad called her Jazzy Heather - and she began signing her name that way to my parents in cards - she loved jazz music. So, I am posting a classic jazz song for everyone to listen to today...enjoy life, call your friends and loved ones to tell them you love them, and please just take five minutes out of your day to donate money so that future lives can be saved from this terrible form of cancer.

http://web.me.com/scottcd/Tribute_to_Heather_Vonbergen/Heather.html (a tribute)

http://www.curesarcoma.org/ (please donate)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSfduB-0lss (a charmed life - some jazz for Heather who lived one until the end)

2008-09-08T00:01:00.003-04:00

"I saw a bee busy among the sweet bilberries..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Mondays: B is for Bee!

Honey bee, "No Rain" bee, bumble bee, Star bee plane, bee cake, Queen bee, bee honey jar

Bee here - its an huge favorite of mine and inspired this take on MM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmVn6b7DdpA

2008-09-06T15:01:00.015-04:00

"Light from the hearth showed..." ~ Jane Eyre

I have been feeling down these past few days for the obvious reason, so yesterday I decided to sit down and watch some HGTV and indulge myself in some telly and couch time...something I haven't done in a while and was glad to partake in.

It just so happened I turned the television on at the right hour where America's Top Ten Most Amazing Kitchens was on. Did anyone else see this? If not, get on in now. http://www.hgtv.com/dc-design-kitchen/tour-the-top-10-amazing-kitchens/pictures/index.html My favorite was number *seven*.

Basically, it was all kitchen pornography - spreading out ten hot kitchens in the course of one hour. One great aspect to the selections were that they were all different in style and genre - modern, rustic, green, traditional, Tuscan - to name a few! I realized whilst watching kitchen porn that when it comes to the most important room in any home or apartment...my classicism goes right out the door. Forget a classic kitchen - the two I didn't like on the show were designed after French Colonial and Victorian designs. No, thank you. My kitchen needs to look like a kitchen, NOT a museum piece.

So this prompted me to start browsing around the internet for photos of dream kitchens. I am a big fan of red highlights in a kitchen. Cooking is sexy, so red toned environs just add to the culinary experience. I like modern because I suppose in the end it has to do with fantasies of being a chef in a utilitarian kitchen. Still, I didnt want anything too modern or cold to highlight as what would be my ideal kitchen. And then, voila! See the photo above! The floor is classic 50's, the cabinets are uber feng shui, and the classic black countertops are awesome against the hot red paint. This would be an ideal kitchen I would enjoy cooking in, though I would want the island double in size, two stoves, and a custom made spice cabinet by the stove.

The Prince and I discussed kitchens earlier today. He is a fan of the classic, quite the opposite of my desire for modern red splashed kitchens. Still, I think it will not matter what kind of kitchen he and I share one day. As long as there are plenty of nights of me cooking up his favorite dishes and sipping wine, it makes no difference at all. Its the people in the kitchen that matter the most when you cook for loved ones, friends, and family.

Take a peek at the top ten and when you comment, I would love to know your favorite one?

2008-09-05T23:35:00.000-04:00

"All your sisters have done for me..." ~ Jane Eyre

As sad as the past few days have been, it is important to remember the essence of life and celebrate that. This photo of my sister's and I with Jack was taken at his birthday celebration last week; the Prince took this one and its my favorite one of the four of us. I have glanced at it dozens of times already, and I always smile as wide as I am in the photo. The only thing I dont like is that I had my hair straight for the day - this shot would have been perfect if my curls were in it as well...matching everyone else's! What you see on my nephew's face is a face painting of...what else...Thomas the Tank Engine!

2008-09-04T00:02:00.000-04:00

"And to be in danger of dying..." ~ Jane Eyre

About a month ago I posted the eulogy I gave at my grandfather's funeral years ago. Although my focus was on his life, I am taking a moment to speak of his death. He died a slow and painful death of sarcoma in his left arm. It was two years of suffering, both for him and for his family. In the end the decision was made to bring him to Calvary Hospice, where cancer patients go to die here in New York. They say its a hospital where terminally ill cancer patients can die in dignity. As wonderful as the doctors, staff, and facility was, there was nothing dignified about it. I drove two hours after work to the Bronx three times a week during his last days, in a haze of despair and grief.

He was incoherent soon after he was brought there, feverish and hallucinating. Eventually more morphine was given to him and I barely was able to get him to open his eyes, wondering if he even recognized me as I sat in the quiet room, as he sat on the brink of death from cancer, never getting used to his violent shakes from the morphine dripping into his body. His arm was triple in size, and the cancer attacked his heart.

It attacked my heart as well.

In the end, watching my grandfather die was not the most traumatic aspect of having to be in Calvary Hospital. There were waiting rooms where patients who were not on their last breaths could go with family, and I will never forget a man in his thirties in a wheelchair, thin and gaunt, being wheeled around the floor by his two parents to get him out of his room for a small while.

A parent should never have to bury his or her child. That is all that kept going through my head as I watched the sad and depressed faces try and muster courage for the sake of their son. I, too, became depressed.

And I am depressed tonight...my sister's voice filled with tears on the phone earlier make me morose tonight. Her roommate from college died - a woman with a PhD, a big heart, and a gentle nature - of sarcoma of the leg at age 33.

Cancer does not discriminate...it can attack anyone at any time at any age, and I am so grateful for the unity this Friday evening: http://su2c.standup2cancer.org/ Donations can be made on the website or during the program. Although a wonderful place to donate is, indeed, right here (please make a gift if you can):
http://www.calvaryhospital.org/site/pp.asp?c=ktJUJ9MPIsE&b=3226167

2008-09-03T07:57:00.018-04:00

"Know the sweet homage given to beauty, youth, and grace..." ~ Jane Eyre

Cafe Angelique sits on the northwest corner where Grove and Bleecker intersect. I sit in a chair with a rusted metal back, the one you see in the photo, by the counter where an entire display of mini cheesecakes, petite fruit tarts, and small chocolate mousse cakes are just out of my reach because its only eleven o'clock in the morning. This place is a French-style cafe with photos of Venice on each wall and ran by Israelis. Hence, I say "to-da" to the woman instead of the English thank you when she brings me a homemade croissant with damson jam and an iced cappuccino with a perfect foam amidst the ice.

This place is as eclectic as the city it lives in, and as if I were in a movie with obvious symbolism, Billy Joel's New York State of Mind begins to play. I smile and enjoy one of life's perfect moments of sweet irony.

In less than two weeks I will be commuting to the city as an assistant on the trading floor of the Foreign Exchange of a prominent and stable investment bank on Wall Street where I will be utilized for my critical thinking skills, writing skills, and people skills. I sit in the cafe after my processing that occurred in the morning, ordering with ease and comfort since my salary is starting at more than I was making as a teacher when I left after seven years. I am excited for this new chapter in my life, for I get to still do what I love to do all day: read, write, and problem solve. I spent my twenties doing for others, and now its time to do for myself. I am finally doing some investing of my own in my well being and my future, and although I joke that I have gone from Sesame Street to Wall Street, I am really proud of the transition and change. I am even contemplating an M.B.A. since the company will pay for it.

So today I officially resign from the education field, ready to relish in the sweetness of my new career and new adventures. Forget life being like a box of chocolate - right now it feels like an entire case of sweet pastries...

2008-09-02T21:28:00.020-04:00

"Children can feel..." ~ Jane Eyre

As I looked at Jack, now three years old, during his birthday party on Sunday afternoon - a beautiful day filled with friends, family, and loved ones - I noted that this birthday party was, by far, my favorite of the three thus far. The reason? Because he is old enough now to be aware of it and enjoy it! I am so proud of the little boy he has become, and I love how much more we are sharing now that he is older. The weekend was a wonderful celebration. I decided to call it Jack Fest from now on since the party lasts all weekend long! So, Jack Fest III was a success with Thomas the Tank Engine being this year's theme for the party.

I must say that one of my favorite moments of Jack Fest III was Saturday when the Prince and I took him off my sister's hands for a bit so she could prep and the Prince treated me and Jack to a big breakfast at IHOP. The Prince is so good with him, and even this morning my sister told me that Jack was telling her on his own how much he likes him. Though when the Prince and I kissed goodbye before I took Jack back home, Jack yelled at us saying "no kissing!"

Sigh...indeed, he definitely IS the quintessential three year old boy now! He isnt even really wanting kisses from me!

Happy Birthday, Jack Krikor! *Kiss*

2008-08-29T10:48:00.011-04:00

"Eat when excited..." ~ Jane Eyre

One of the more poignant scenes in Sex and the City is when Charlotte breaks down in front of Carrie, hysterical crying after Carrie calls her out on a fear she has. She can hardly speak through her sobs, but she manages to say that life is too good, too perfect, and too wonderful right now and something has to go wrong...how can one be so blessed with such happiness? Carrie reminds her that she has been through enough pain in her life, and its time to enjoy the joy. And in the end, Charlotte does.

I think the movie addressed the issue that it is possible to have your cake and eat it, too. The etymology of that statement is an interesting one. It dates back to 1596 as a metaphorical idiom for what is impossible - you cant eat cake and then have it because you already had it! Still, what we think is impossible in our daily lives may be possible. Its a simple kind of hope that is as plain as a vanilla cupcake, but also as sweet as one.

I feel like Charlotte in this moment - I am so thankful for all of my blessings, but at the same time I fear having it all because life is seemingly perfect right now. I expressed that to my cousin, Steph, the other evening. The eve of my thirtieth birthday was one of the darkest moments of my life, and everything seemed impossible to obtain and turn around and fix both personally and professionally. And then, as if it were the exact moment I made my wish on that piece of birthday cake, the impossible became possible and my dreams were sliced like a cake because they soon became the best reality.

And so, readers, there is a moment in Jane Eyre where Jane leaves her career in education for good and comes into her own wealth as she looks towards her future with Rochester. This is the moment where I leave education and move on to making real money in a new job. I have a new career, I have my Prince, I have the best family and friends, and I have been given the ingredients to make a cake that I am going to have and eat, too. As tempted as I am to cry like Charlotte and worry that this will all be lost, I remember that this was not given to me. I worked for this, just like I will work to make this cake and sweat over it until its ready for the taking, and will enjoy the sweets of my labor...

2008-08-27T05:28:00.031-04:00

"Of white grapes and vine-leaves..." ~ Jane Eyre

The above images were taken at a small, unassuming vineyard on the North Fork of Long Island called The Old Field. Amidst all of the larger, more corporate wineries there lies this true gem that J. Sarah's parents took the Prince and I to this past weekend. They were gracious to have us out for the day on Saturday, and what a perfect summer day it was.

Our day began when the Prince and I picked up a late breakfast/early lunch to eat in the car en route east. As I sipped on my vanilla flavored iced coffee and he ate tuna with fresh tomato on whole grain bread, he set up a great playlist on the Ipod for some great music to cruise to. We opened the sunroof to my Mercedes and the first song we blasted was Clapton's Layla. Ironically, I feel the prince has turned my world both upside down and rightside up all at the same time.

We arrived at the house half past noon and greeted J. Sarah's parents and, much to the apprehension at first of the Prince, my former high school principal and his wife! J. Sarah's mom is an English teacher where we attended high school. It was great to see all of them, and as soon as we arrived I knew it was going to be one of the best days of the summer...and I was right.

After arriving, we all got into the car and drove out to Greenport. Greenport is quite an old community on Long Island and its ports used to be used by rumrunners during prohibition when ships would smuggle in alcohol from Europe. The town is lovely and we walked the streets going in and out of shops and art galleries. At one point I stopped at a small cafe for some gelato - coffee flavored - and it was most delicious. We walked to the docks and the cool breeze off of the water was as delicious as the gelato.

Once we toured most of the main street in Greenport, we went to the winery for some tasting. The photos show an oak barrel, ripe grapes ready for the picking, and an old corn crib on the premises. The wine tasting area was outdoors, set up on rickety tables with little jars of mustard out next to the menu for wine flights. Small plastic cups were used for the tastings, and we chose an entire flight of whites and reds. The grounds were beautiful, and the Prince and I walked through some of the rows of grapes, for I had never seen them right before they were ready to be picked and turned into wine. The Prince bought us two bottles to take home. One is a table red called Rooster Tail that we are saving for a night we get pizza (it was listed as a pairing and we totally agreed) and the other is a rich and fruity 2002 Merlot that I think will go well with some eggplant parmigiana.

And eggplant parmigiana is exactly what J.Sarah's dad - the good doctor - made for dinner that night back at the house! I have had it before, and it is probably one of the best dinners I have eaten. The family refers to it as EPP over Spag (eggplant parmigiana over spaghetti) for short. J. Sarah's mom is the best cook I know, but her father is also excellent. We got back to the house and sipped on a Channing Daughters white called Envelope and snacked on goat cheese and bruschetta that I prepared as an appetizer. The crowning culinary moment was the main course. As the Prince said, its not often you have the best dinner ever, so you need to get the recipe! Thankfully the good doctor sent it over the next day, with a request it appears on EpicureanEscapades soon! I told him to wait for next Thursday when the NFL season kicks off as my Giants play their first game.

The day felt like the hours flew by. Before we knew it, it was already eight in the evening. I didn't want to leave such perfection. What made the day perfect was not the food or the activities, but the company. J. Sarah's parents are my second set, and spending time with them and having them spend time getting to know the Prince made the day quite special. The beauty of the day was knowing that more days like it are to come...

2008-08-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

"And to let me learn..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: (Higher) Education

The University I work at...

2008-08-21T10:46:00.037-04:00

"He went to India..." ~ Jane Eyre

This past spring I was on Wall Street and walked into the Hermes store there to browse when I saw the most beautiful scarf in the world. Hermes introduced a line called "Indian Fantasies" this past year, and for those who know me well, that is where my fantasies now lay.

The silk scarf in reference is detailed here, though it comes in two colors, and the color pattern I loved is muted shades of lavender and melon that remind me of the colors of the sunsets in Goa that the Prince set me pictures of. There are others in the Indian series, filled with gorgeous images of elephants and henna patterns, but the pattern of this particular caught my eye. Of course it is not a pattern for the pocket squares- it is only available as a large, $300.00 scarf that shall never grace my body as an accessory. Even if I could afford such a luxury, I would perhaps not even wear it - I would frame it as a work of art because I love looking at it so much.

A couple of weeks ago the Prince and I were in the bookstore and I grabbed books on Goa from the travel section. We have talked of going there, and I have been doing daydreaming anytime I click on this website for a hotel there that looks nothing short of spectacular: http://www.tajhotels.com/Leisure/Fort%20Aguada%20Beac
h%20Resort,GOA/default.htm. Aside from Goa, I would love to see the rest of India with him - his India - and look forward to going one day. Though I admit that Goa is first on the list, for staying in an old Portuguese rampart and watching those sunsets with the Prince would be fantasy coming to life.

Dating an Indian man has been a blessing, for I have loved learning more about the culture and learning about the similarities between our Indian and Armenian backgrounds, whether its musical instruments or ceremonial practice rites or even types of food. Even Armenian researchers and cultural anthropologists have commented on the influences. http://www.tacentral.com/mythology.asp?story_no=3 The irony is that his kitchen smells like the smell I remember in the kitchen of my father's parents house, mainly with the faint scent of cumin lingering so deliciously below my nose.

Of course I grew up with Indian friends who introduced me to aspects of the culture even so early as elementary school. I remember two girls in particular showing of their amazing dancing skills and performing Bharatanatyam dance at cultural events hosted by my third grade teacher. Images of shiva and temples in the house were at that time foreign to me in a fascinating way. My first introduction to Indian food was late - high school - when J.Sarah and her parents invited me to her birthday dinner in the city and I tasted the goodness of samosas, nan, mango lassi, and tandoori chicken for the first time. Of course now I joke that those foods are for the lightweights, for there is nothing better I love than saag paneer and any kind of spicy vindaloo.

Life has gotten in the way of me undertaking the Indian cooking I have set out to do as a project, though soon I am confident that I will have more time for that. The main Indian supermarket in the metro New York area is called Patel Brothers: http://nymag.com/listings/
stores/patel_brothers01/. J.Sarah has one by her house, and the Prince and I have one by hours. Going in there for the first time was exciting. It was crowded and abuzz with families shopping, with huge barrels of Indian snacks being dug into and freezers filled with all different kinds of kulfi. J.Sarah helped me find the dal and garam masala that I needed. The Prince took me to the one closer to us in order to get ingredients for chat papri (www.epicureanescapdes.blogspot.com) and I was unable to keep my kulfi in its package before reaching the register; I felt like a young child snacking greedily while the parent was food shopping! I have been back there on my own since for the main purpose of stockpiling kulfi in my freezer. I tried fried lentil snacks the other day at the Prince's and need to head there next week to buy some bags of it for myself.

Next door to Patel Brothers is an Indian clothing store that has gorgeous saris in the window. As much as I would love that Hermes scarf, it is not as important to me as one day wearing a ceremonial sari. And donning that one day is not a fantasy at all. Rather, it is quite the absolute opposite in my heart and soul...

2008-08-20T15:59:00.006-04:00

"Seasons of that region..." ~ Jane Eyre

The prince is a man for all seasons

Oh, yes he is comparable to Moore in that he is an amazing scholar, philosopher, and intellect, but I mean in the literal sense that he is a man for all seasons.

For the first time in my life I don’t mind that summer is ending, or that cold winds shall come, or that darkness will be abound in hours that were once light. So far in the six months we have been together, three seasons have passed, and the experiences became as unique and special as he is. Its not the activities in the seasons that make them meaningful with him, it is just being with him that is most significant.

Although it could be winter forever and if I was with him it wouldnt matter, I must admit that I am most excited about autumn with him - the only season we haven't shared yet. We cheer for the same football team, and I look forward to breezy, cool Sundays in front of the television, wrapped in a blanket and eating bowls of hot chili topped with cheddar cheese and crispy tortilla strips as the Giants work to clench another kind of bowl in their particular season. We decided to read all the Harry Potter books before the next film comes out this fall, and I am looking forward to our discussions about how Hermione and Ron are perfectly imperfect for each other before bundling up in pea coats and hats to go see The Half Blood Prince. The Prince's birthday lies in November, and I cannot wait to shower him with all the gifts he deserves and make him the cake of his choosing. He was a football player in high school, so I hope to rouse him and get him to play touch football or at least throw a football around as our feet make crunching noises on the fallen leaves. I want to go apple picking with him and search for the perfect pumpkin together.
I want to make him all kinds of pies - sweet potato pies and shepherd's pie from my oven that serves as another means to heat my apartment when the weather turns cool. I can't wait for weekend getaways and nights we just stay in watching movies and sipping spiced cider. Hopefully he will celebrate Halloween with us as we indulge Jack in all of the excitement of the holiday and I cook for the family that night. Annually, its been individual meat loaves with mashed potatoes and green beans with tons of candy for dessert. I requested we do a Star Wars marathon together - watching the original three films in one day...though truthfully it is always about Empire. I look forward to wearing thick, plaid skirts again with tights and rubbing his leg underneath the table inconspicuously as we dine out and drink red wines instead of summery whites.

Of course summer isnt over just yet, but it is no matter because I feel like each day is a beach day when we are together...carefree, blissful, and perfect.

2008-08-18T21:45:00.002-04:00

"To glory..." ~ Jane Eyre

The small footprints next to mine in the sand belong to Jack as we go by the shore and I write his name with my toes in the sand and we giggle together as the water washes it back into its vastness and I hold the little King high above the waves because he is too royal to be beneath them even swimming...out children should lead us, we shouldnt be leading them...they know what is best, even if that includes eating tons of snacks in a beach chair at age three years old, rotating mini bags of popcorn and goldfish crackers. We build castles together in the sand and I hope that I have enough power one day to build him better castles and protect him always...always. My sisters in the sand appear as an oasis to me as their images are intertwined with my parents - just as mine is - as we pass on all the glory of a day at the beach to the child. Robin's patience as Jack tries to play frisbee with her and her boyfriend and my sister's reassurance to him when he shows doubt echo as loud as the ocean breeze in my ear of past family excursions to Jones Beach. The moment where Robin and I hold him at the shoreline as the waves crash is one of bliss, because our love for him as his aunts is stronger than all the oceans ever washing across all of the lands of this earth. We spend hours here and I never want to leave...he doesnt want to leave, either. If I could send a message in a bottle on this day to someone I would say in my note that life is glorious...live the life...viva la vida. No money, stocks, gas, oil, war, athletic competitions, elections, or celebrities have anything to do with the purity of this moment on this day, and we forget this too often. I see other families smiling and laughing with their children around us and I have faith and hope that the earth will heal itself with the love we have for our future children. Their potential is as vast as the sea and we need to let them rule our hearts... and not let them be ruled by the tyrants that have turned this world into a tempest...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvgZkm1xWPE

2008-08-11T08:35:00.005-04:00

"And he came from the West..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Mondays: (My parents and my favorite TV) WESTERNS!

Roy Rogers and Trigger, The Lone Ranger, The Young Riders, Bonanza

2008-08-09T19:44:00.015-04:00

"While such honey-dew fell..." ~ Jane Eyre

Its Saturday night and I am listening to "Honey, Honey" from the Mamma Mia soundtrack, keeping up with my latest ABBA kick since Wednesday night when I saw the film with sis Missy. I am totally thinking of the Prince as I sip a cocktail made with vodka and valencia/mango juice in a blue martini glass and am singing along to lyrics such as "Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey..." He is on his way here soon, and as the song goes, I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing.

Life is as sweet as honey lately and as thickly rich. I was cruising in the car earlier with the sunroof open, blasting ABBA, looking at the blue skies, sipping the bottom caramel layer of an iced caramel macchiato, and totally enjoying the moment of bliss because I feel the most relaxed and the most secure than I have in a great while.

So far, thirty has been the best year in my entire life, and I am so excited for the rest of the year to unfold. I wouldnt trade this moment for anything, and I wouldnt go back to my twenties if I had the chance. I was a dancing queen at seventeen and loved that time until college ended, and then I feel like I wasted a lot of emotions in my early twenties. I love that I am able to take a chance on me once again and change my lifestyle these days. Indeed, lately I give myself credit for being a super trooper and forging ahead despite some hard obstacles. I can spend more time doing things I love, like reading historical fiction that recounts the moments in the battle of Waterloo. In the end, I think I have figured out the name of the game, and I have never been happier because I am the winner taking it all.

So, what's your favorite ABBA song and why? :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P3SWl0EAAs

2008-08-05T21:22:00.004-04:00

Four new posts at
www.epicureanescapades.
blogspot.com!

2008-08-03T13:23:00.017-04:00

"Sweet paintings of butterflies hovering over..." ~ Jane Eyre

It is eight o'clock on a Sunday morning and the sunroof to the Mercedes is wide open; the wind it creates sounds like waves crashing on my roof as I drive down the Meadowbrook Parkway. The local rock station is hosting its weekly Breakfast with the Beatles and I sing along to "Eight Days a Week." For the first time in my life, I understand what the song truly means. I sing thinking about the Prince and how seven days aren't enough to contain all the love I have for him, and how my passion for him is infinite. I cross over the first ramp and turn onto the Loop Parkway, staring at the sailboats in front of me, wondering if there is some kind of regatta this morning. I am slightly over the speed limit, anxious to get to the shoreline and walk all morning with seafoam at my feet. Once I arrive to the shore, I breathe in deep and test the waters - August ocean temperature on Long Island is perfect. I take my bottle of water out, set my small speedometer, and begin walking east on the shoreline, dodging pockets of seaweed and an occasional jellyfish along the way. The waters are as calm as my soul this morning. I stare into the horizon and see more sailboats and finally spot my favorite boat - a shrimp boat - puttering along the water. Wondering if there are any sharks out there, I feel sad that Shark Week is over on Discovery Channel not just because I love watching the programs, but because each night this week I was with the Prince watching them with him, dubbing it all "shark porn" and sharing root beer floats and Swedish Fish as we saw Great Whites chomping on raw tuna. He promised one day when he makes partner we will fly to South Africa and do cage diving with the Great Whites, and I smile thinking about that future adventure with him and how hot he will look in a wet suit. At one point on my walk, a butterfly crosses my path and flies all around me at the tip of the shore, creating a beautiful striking contrast of the aqua water in its background and its stark orange colors in the forefront. I walk along and contemplate going swimming - the water is just perfect - but I am still too timid to go in after the tragedies of last week on the shores of New York. Eventually I end my exercise regime and place a towel on the sand and lay down for a nap, dreaming of a place I am most relaxed. Ironically, it used to be the beach, but now when I close my eyes and picture where I am at perfect relaxation and bliss, I think about his bed instead. The seagulls are squawking more loudly as more beach goers arrive with breakfasts of bagels or yogurt parfaits or fruit salad. I remember I cant stay long because I have to go home and frost my homemade Smores cupcakes for a barbecue this afternoon, and I smile because I am so excited for the feast. Its me, my sisters, and our significant others along with Jack. I grab my backpack and pack up my towel, breathing in some more sea salt before I venture back to land...

2008-07-29T15:47:00.002-04:00

Its garden, too, glowed with flowers: hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees..." ~ Jane Eyre

Last Sunday was the most perfect of days with the Prince, thanks to his thoughtfulness and talent for making any day or night whimsical so long as we are together.

Ironically, I have been to the lovely Cloisters at Westminster Abbey in England, but never to the Cloisters of the Metropolitan Museum of Art at Fort Tryon Park here in New York. Though he and I discussed going together this summer, the original plan for last Sunday was to go to the MET itself on Fifth Avenue to see the Superhero Exhibit at the costume institute.

When he got into the car, he had a plan for the entire day of times and transportation routes: plans had changed. We were going to take the train to Penn and then take the A train to the Cloisters, take the M4 bus back to the Met on Fifth, see the Superhero exhibit, and then take the W down to East 8th street and walk to the Indian Bread Company for a dinner of "naninis."

And we did just that. If you know anything about New York City's layout, you know that we were literally all over the city that day!

The Prince's laugh is one of my favorite laughs - there is something infectious about it (I love watching comedies with him), and the train ride in was enjoyable to me because we were listening to comedic sketches on his Ipod. After the train ride into Penn Station and the A train ride up to Ft. Tryon Park, we exited and I couldn't’t believe I was still in New York City. While we waited for the bus, the Prince and I shared a Spiderman ice pop thanks to our good fortune that a Good Humor truck was right there! It had been ages since I ate any ice pop that had gumball eyes on it. Arriving at the Cloisters was exciting, for it’s located on a hill and is just stunning to view from its base.

As much as I loved the Unicorn tapestries and the indoor relics, my favorite aspects of the Cloisters were the actual gardens and courtyards. The Prince took amazing photos – he has a great eye when it comes to photography- a few of which are seen above. He got a wonderful shot of a butterfly perched on a flower. The courtyards themselves are regal, as you can see from the second photo. The third is one I took of a fountain amidst a courtyard that only contained stone columns. As bare as it was, there was a zen-like quality to the space that was peaceful and relaxing. My favorite garden was the Medieval Culinary garden outside...the Cloisters planted trees, vegetables, herbs, and roots that would have been grown in the Middle Ages. Some of the culinary trees and plants included fig trees, pear trees, cherry trees, garlic bulbs, parsley, rosemary, sage, leeks, chives, and kale.

By the time we finished and after viewing the food garden, we got back on the bus and arrived at the Metropolitan Museum of Art needing a snack. Nothing beats a dirty water dog and lemonade on a hot summer day. I had mine with relish and mustard, and the Prince had one with everything. We sat in the shade on a bench by the sidewalk art vendors, and all I could think about is how perfect the day is because I was with him.

Inside the MET, we viewed the Superhero exhibit, which is a must see if anyone is visiting the museum this summer. After that we sat in my favorite place for a few moments - the European Sculpture Garden - once again visiting our favorite statues of Perseus and Andromeda. We then ventured out of the museum and headed to the subway to go down to Greenwich Village for a dinner of "naninis" at the Indian Bread Company. We both ate the Saag Chicken (grilled chicken tikka cubes with spinach spread, caramelized onion and tikka masala sauce) and I had a mango lassi. By this time we were exhausted and decided to head home.

After showering and falling into bed after the day, I was not sad that the day was over. I know there are plenty more to come. Besides, there may not be gardens with flowers or tapestries or leisurely bus rides down Fifth Avenue each day when we are together, but that is no matter, because all moments I spend with him are perfectly beautiful.

Some fun websites from our fun day:
http://www.indianbreadco.com/
http://www.metmuseum.org/special/superheroes/index.asp
http://www.metmuseum.org/explore/Unicorn/hunt_unicorn_transcript.htm
http://citysbest.aol.com/new-york/best-dining/hot-dogs/

2008-07-19T11:44:00.010-04:00

"Is she in a day-dream now?" ~ Jane Eyre

The mega-millions are up to 125 million dollars for the next drawing. I have been playing since it was 75 last week. I normally do not play lotto, but I always feel obligated to try for the mega-millions. Of course my playing numbers have meaning...and of course I know my chances of winning are slimmer than me getting eaten by a Great White Shark as I got hit by lightening.

Still, its nice to daydream about what I would do with 125 million dollars. I would spend on the givens of new homes for the family and cars and boats and such for family and friends. I would of course donate to charities: Cancer research, March of Dimes, and NPR. I would then make sure most of it went into trust funds and cd's and stock portfolios. Still, these are a few things I would like to spend on for the fun and pleasure of being a millionaire...(oh, aside from buying the most reliable and best computer money can buy...sigh)

1) A Spa Week with the Sisters: I would love to take my hard-working sisters away for a week to a spa. http://www.miiamo.com/ It would be nice to alternate treatments with wine poolside, nature walks, and yoga. I would love nothing more than to see them completely relaxed and taking a break from the stressors of their lives.
2) A Romantic Getaway with the Prince: We talk about traveling, and the way he describes Goa's sunsets make me want to leave today with him on a jet plane. I would love to learn more about the Portuguese influence in Goa and stay in a former Portuguese rampart in one of their Private Villas with an Ocean View: http://photowebusa.com/taj/fort-aguada/index.htm
The Fish Tail restaurant has private tents for dining outdoors, and I would want to stay there all early evening and late night talking with him, for no matter where we are, all that comes out of his mouth just makes me want to kiss him more and more as time passes.
3) Wine and Chocolate for me and J. Sarah: I would have a house with a finished wine cellar where J.Sarah would come once a week and I would treat her to an expensive bottle of wine and expensive chocolate to sample as a means of centering ourselves for the week. Although her friendship is invaluable, combining it with wine and chocolate does make it priceless! http://www.forbes.com/2006/02/07/hershey-expensive-chocolate-
cx_sy_0208feat_ls.html
4) The MET: I would rent out the MET for the day for friends and family to go see their favorite art exhibits and then host a lavish cocktail party in the European Sculpture Garden for all of them to enjoy.
5) Sports: I would fulfill my fantasy of having season tickets to the New York Yankees and New York Giants seasons with skybox seats for both!
6) Diamonds Are Forever: I would purchase myself diamonds for myself and enjoy the jewels that were *only* purchased from the Kimberly Process, an organization that deals with non-blood diamonds. http://www.kimberleyprocess.com/
7) Fifth Avenue: I would go down Fifth Avenue and buy clothes from Bergdoff's, Armani, and Bendel's. http://www.henribendel.com/
8) Great White Shark: Finally, I would spend money on going cage diving to see a Great White Shark! I kid you not! http://www.sharkdiver.com/

What would you do with 125 million?

2008-07-10T14:55:00.002-04:00

"There was a crack, a crash, and a close rattling peal..." ~ Jane Eyre

My Prince's computer, which he built himself, is named after a great hero in Greek Mythology. If we were to name my laptop, it would be "weenie."

Weenie's makers just decided to tell me days after calls back and forth that the wireless system is faulty and an advisory was sent out. Personally, I have a feeling a regular update for Vista probably screwed it all up. I hate Vista, I hate HP, and I hate that next week weenie is being shipped off to California for repairs after my Prince is nice enough to save his innards on an external hard drive since I am panicked I will lose data.

And this, my dear readers, is why technology is both a blessing and a curse. Posts will be made from work when I now get here early in the morning so I can blog and read blogs, and the next two weekends will be spent borrowing air time from friends.

Hope you are all having a better week than me and my laptop.

2008-07-08T11:22:00.002-04:00

My laptop of one year decided that it just didnt feel like reading the wireless card in it, so technical difficulties have been abound on Eyre Affairs! I hope all my readers had a great Fourth of July! Stay tuned for postings and recipes by the end of the week....

2008-06-29T21:36:00.019-04:00

"And light summer dress from my drawer and put it on..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: Summer

Beach Towel
Armenian Shish Kebab
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini
Mango Lassi
Flip Flops
Jimmy Buffett
Kulfi
Sangria
Pedicures
Lobster Roll
Lemon Ice King of Corona

AND NOT SO SILENT SHA LA LA LA'S:

MY FAVORITE SONG OF SUMMER...ENJOY BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S JERSEY GIRL (I get teary each time I hear this song): http://youtube.com/watch?v=v4e0WrBsXbE

2008-06-23T10:46:00.009-04:00

"Then her soul sat on her lips, and language flowed..." ~ Jane Eyre

My boyfriend and I have both been reflective about the strong components of our relationship of late. I have to say that the connection of creativity is one of the many strong dynamics of our partnership.

Last night we wrote a poem together, in bed, stemming from an exercise of choosing words, writing separate poems, and then combining the two. He said that our poem needs to be edited, but I prefer it in its raw form right now. As for the last stanza, well, after sharing moments like this with him, it is impossible for me to imagine not writing poetry with him for all the days to come...

Missed Pain
by Amy and A.K.J.

Under duress
I allow the light
slowly
through the window pane.

The loss of night.
The loss of you.

Without you I cannot move.
I cannot feel,
I cannot do.

The pleasure I derive wanes.

While the night grants us
another moment,
I still cannot breathe.

And,
without you,
I cannot live.
I cannot be.

For you are finally intertwined with me.

2008-06-22T10:37:00.011-04:00

"Consisting of a small mug of coffee..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: Aroma

coffee beans,

coffee mug,

espresso,

Armenian coffee (soorj),

french press,

iced coffee,

coffee grinder...

2008-06-20T10:46:00.006-04:00

"Though daylight was fading from the leaf..." ~ Jane Eyre

My grandfather John looked a great deal like Joe Torre and, ironically, had his demeanor. He had dark set eyes, a prominent nose, lots of common sense, and a calm exterior. When Torre left the Yankees, I felt my grandfather's death all over again. I watched countless Yankee games with my grandfather with Torre at the helm; the good old days when Jeter was a newbie and Torre was in his glory as a manager. So when Joe left, it was heartbreaking for me on many levels. Thankfully Jeter is still there, a favorite superstar of my grandfather's.

This week I spoke about highlighting the best men in my life. This post is about my grandfather, John. The post is the eulogy I gave at his funeral, seven years ago. I still remember giving it at the funeral home, and I remember miraculously being able to hold it together for his sake.

All of us have been very fortunate that our lives have been lovingly touched by John -----. As a husband, father, grandfather, uncle, cousin, brother-in-law, and friend, he exemplified every special quality a person could have. Though my grandfather may have seemed quiet and introverted to many, he was indeed expressive and outgoing. He shared many stories with me that give a picture of how full and special his life has been. Each story fits a chronological picture of his life.

Born in 1919 in Istanbul, Turkey, he came from a strong Armenian family who survived the Armenian Genocide. Among the first stories told are of how he and his mother, father, and brother moved to Astoria, New York, when he was a year old. As a young boy, he and his brother Steven would play ball on the street on 33rd street until my grandmother Haiganoush would call them in for dinner. The house in Astoria also served as a dental office for my great grandpa, Sarkis, and little did my grandpa know that as a baby, his future wife was being brought to his father’s office for dental work. Growing up in Astoria my grandfather was close to his brother, Steven, and he told stories about the two of them convening at Sam’s Candy Shop where they would see Tony Bennett hanging out. I remember one story that is quintessential in portraying my grandfather’s wonderful sense of humor. Vacationing in the Catskills with my grandma Alice’s family when they were both teenagers, he decided to climb the roof one night and play a practical joke on my grandma and her sisters by scaring them as they were sleeping. In 1941 my grandfather’s sense of duty and honor led him to enlist in the United States Army. There he served during WWII in the Signal Core in North Italy and North Africa with the Fifth Army. If any good was to come out of the bad at this time, it was the beautiful love letters between he and my grandmother. He arrived home from the war in 1945 and married Alice ------ in 1946. They spent 57 years together in a loving marriage. At this time he worked in the photo engraving business, making plates for magazines such as National Geographic. In 1947 my grandparents were blessed with a daughter Liz and in 1952 they were blessed with another daughter, Irene. Other special highlights of the later parts of his life included the building of the Catskill house in 1967, the birth of his granddaughter Missy in 1974, and bringing my sister and I home after our birth in 1978.

The special moments we have shared with him are a testimony as to how deeply he touched our lives. For his wife, Alice, her favorite moment with him was when he proposed to her in a movie theatre. For his daughter, Liz, it was the times she spent with him at their home in the Catskills, swimming, barbecuing, and being together as a family. For his daughter, Irene, it was when she and her friend, Maureen rode their horses to the Catskill house and surprised my grandparents as they trotted through the backyard. For his granddaughter, Robin, it was being a young child in the Catskills and waking him up on the morning by tickling his feet and ringing a cowbell that stood on his dresser. For his granddaughter, Missy, it was riding with him on the tractor as he mowed the lawn at the Catskill house.

For me, it was our Strawberry ice cream nights at the rehabilitation center two years ago where we would pig out on Dove Bars and talk about Joe Torre and the Yankees, laugh together about stories I would tell him, and joke that never-ending joke he and I shared about the sparks I had with my college boyfriend.

I would like to thank everyone who supported my grandfather during this illness. We should all be thankful he is finally in peace and with God. May we all be fortunate to live as long a life as he did. When my Grandfather Krikor died, my English teacher at the time noticed how sad I was and she gave me words of comfort that should be taken to heart for all of us who have lost a loved one. She told me that I did not need to miss him, for he was never truly gone. Every morning when I wake up and look in mirror, he is there inside of me in my spirit and will always be there. The spirits of loved ones we love will always remain inside of us. I wish you all comfort and peace with these thoughts.

And to my grandfather, I know your spirit is here and I know you can hear me. I know you will never leave me or your family. You are in my heart and I will see you again. What I wish to express to you in this moment is best said by Johnny Mercer, who wrote the lyrics to your favorite song, “but I will miss you most of all my darling, when Autumn Leaves start to fall...”

2008-06-17T20:05:00.007-04:00

"Dear! dear!" ~ Jane Eyre

This little man has become my biggest joy in my life.

September 1 will mark three years since my mother left a message on my answering machine; it is saved on the machine to this day and I replay it from time to time. Her excited voice cried, "Amy...its seven o'clock...its a BOY!" A day later I sat in the hospital room with my sisters with this little baby boy. Missy had him cradled in her arms, Robin was standing by the bedside, and I was sitting in a chair by the window. We just stared at each other - the sisterhood would never be the same, but in a good way, for here was this little boy touching the dynamics of our sisterhood.

I think my favorite role in life right now is as Maimy. I had tried so hard to teach him the word "aunt," but Maimy became his title for me. He says it so tender and lovingly, though I know when he is one day a teenager he is going to turn it into a term of endearment with a different tone in his voice! Ah, so be it. That is what unconditional love is all about.

I love Jack wholly, but there are parts of him that I also love. For three years old, there is so much to his personality already that makes him adorable beyond his mop of curly hair and scrunchy smile. He is quite gregarious, able to entertain a room with his dancing and singing. He is stubborn like his grandfather and great-grandfather before him. He is polite, saying please and thank you often. He shares with others, and he is very concerned about other children around him. He has a curious personality and a sense of adventure that make playing with him the best times of my week. He has a memory like an elephant, too, reminding me lately that I am getting him a Thomas the Tank Engine wooden play table for his birthday.

The above photo of a deer and a dear was taken just today at a local game farm. I am so fortunate to be the aunt of this child, for all the brightness you see on his face has permeated my life so richly.

2008-06-15T12:19:00.006-04:00

"And a good man..." ~ Jane Eyre
Mute Mondays: "Old" Men

Me and my "old man."

Not-so-mute-thoughts: Happy Father's Day to my dear old dad. I am a very fortunate daughter. I do not take for granted that I celebrated this day with him; there are many children out there, my dad included, who are not with their fathers today. What I hope these sons and daughters, such as Luke Russert, remember is that all they need to do is look in the mirror and their fathers are right there inside of them in spirit...so they don't have to miss him so much. This week my posts will be all about aspects of the greatest men in my life.

2008-06-10T17:30:00.003-04:00

"My head grew hot..." ~ Jane Eyre

Living on Long Island gives you the best of both worlds in the summertime. I love being thirty minutes away from the beach and forty minutes away from the city. Summer in the city is special despite the heat and grit and thick humidity that clings to each highrise above and below you as you walk the streets.

My cool cat mentioned the other night to this kitty how there is something about the heat of summer that is extremely seductive. I couldnt agree more. I believe that it true between two people in the heat of summer, but I also believe that the city itself, all five boroughs included, becomes so more seductive in the summer.

What I love about summer in the city...

~ The Subway: I know you are thinking that the subway is the worst part about the city in the summer. It is extremely hot on the platforms and people move lethargically as they wait for the trains. This is true. But what is also true is how good the contrast feels once the train starts to arrive. The breeze reaches you and you are beginning the cool down. The car doors open and the moment you step into the car is the moment that feels amazing: the cold air conditioning hits you and it the feeling on your skin tastes as good as an ice pop does on your tongue.

~ Rooftops and Gardens: Eating and drinking on the rooftops of Manhattan is special. There are many rooftop bars, but the rooftops and gardens to dine in are spectacular. Its like a little oasis away from the city hubub. As much as I love al fresco dining on the sidewalks of New York, I do prefer back gardens or upstairs getaways. One of my favorite outdoor garden areas to dine and drink is in Astoria, Queens. Its Cavo, a Greek restaurant with an oasis in the back that makes you feel like you are somewhere outside in Greece as you sip your retsina. A few blocks away likes the Bohemian Beer Garden - an outdoor Oasis with a plethora of pitchers of Pilsner!

~ Museums: They are cool with culture and the best exhibits are always in the summer months when the tourists come. Case and point? The MET has their costume institute filled with an exhibit on Superhero costumes. http://www.metmuseum.org/special/se_event.asp?OccurrenceId={5B98D8A0-AB67-4137-8F5E-873FDB82EE73}&HomePageLink=special_c3a

~ The Rest: Shakespeare in the Park, Lemon Ice King of Corona ices, Coney Island, Yankee Stadium, mojitos at Asia De Cuba, street fairs, the lingering smell of halal meat in the humid air, the sound of flip flops of women on the sidewalk, the available parking on the Upper East Side, air conditioned cabs, A Midsummer Night's Swing at Lincoln Center, Mr. Softees parked by the parks, air conditioners dripping down on the sidewalks, owners giving their dogs bottles of Poland Spring, Monday night movies at Bryant Park...

For some Lovin' Spoonful and cool lyrics like Cool Cat looking for a Kitty: http://youtube.com/watch?v=1fxhebNeFXk

2008-06-09T00:01:00.002-04:00

"Yet in what darkness, what dense ignorance, was the mental battle fought!" ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: Competition

My favorite competition scene: MAMBO AT THE GYM! Sharks take it. Period. Ladies, you know you secretly love Bernardo. :)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=II2uaRmlQNg

2008-06-08T12:25:00.002-04:00

For a great mac and cheese recipe and a great chocolate cake recipe (I made both this weekend), click on my food blog:
http://epicureanescapades.blogspot.com/

2008-06-06T16:01:00.001-04:00

"I should say I loved you..." ~ Jane Eyre

Perhaps I have not been entirely truthful.

I have been writing these past few months...just not all of my words have been here on the blog. I have a red moleskin notebook that has been filled with my thoughts of him since the night after our first date, now almost four months ago. The notebook has been by my nightstand, in his eyesight without knowing what it was. It was my way of expressing myself to him in moments where the feeling was too intense to carry in my heart alone, but not emote directly to him due to my vulnerabilities. Only a few weeks ago did I finally have the courage to share it with him, and that moment was intense for me...it was, indeed, one of the most vulnerable moments I have had in my life.

There are an infinite number of reasons as to what makes him a best friend, a best boyfriend, and a best lover to me. One of the quintessential reasons is that he never makes me feel I ever have to be self-conscious about my emotions, thoughts, and feelings; he is so accepting of who I am, just as I am accepting of who he is.

I didn't intend to share my writing here, but he encouraged me to do so. I wont share more than one, and this is the one I want to share with one significant addendum: the trust referred to has, indeed, been earned and given freely...

March 2, 2008

This bed smells like us...as if we embedded ourselves into the fabric of the sheets as we made love and unfolded into each thread. I think of you in this moment ~ your eyes, forearms, lips, hands, chin, chest, skin. I love touching your skin...smelling your skin. I love the color of your skin and the contrast of the tones of our hands when we lock our fingers together.
What I hate is that I cannot put my thoughts into my speech on matters of my feelings pertaining to you. I am still angry at myself for breaking down last night and giving into your interrogation of me - of my thoughts when it comes to you. What do you want to know? I feel like nothing I express could even be believed by you right now. More time must pass. I feel as though time is against me, and for you as well. Trust must be earned, not given freely. I do not trust you completely ~ not yet.

2008-06-01T00:02:00.001-04:00

"Her beauty, her pink cheeks and golden curls..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: Beauty (is in the eye of the beholder...)

Me in the mirror at Onteora B and B in true Whitman form, celebrating myself after 30 years of struggling to do so and finally triumphing...

2008-05-30T23:29:00.014-04:00

"And that faithful friendship..." ~ Jane Eyre

Carrie has carried me through many a Sunday night when Saturday dreams were hanging out to dry. She and her crew also comforted me, along with Chinese take out (usually chicken lo mein) and a cheap bottle of chardonnay, on many a Friday night when I preferred to get a manicure and stay home for the evening after a long and stressful work week.

But it is my friends and sisters who have carried me through the severe moments of life's greatest pains and obstacles, and this kind of deep support from friends was reflected on the screen tonight above all else.

Yes, there was a festive and flirty feel to seeing the film tonight with my dear cousin, for three years ago we watched the last episode together in her den while eating desserts and learning Big's real name. Tonight we dressed up, we got cosmos after the movie, we fussed over the fashions in the film as we drank our pink drinks. It was a celebration on many levels, especially a celebration of friendship and sororial bonds.

For me, the best parts of the film were not about shoes, bags, sex, or the city. The most poignant parts dealt with the essence of friendship down to its rawest moments. I teared up often during the film, but sobbed when I saw Samantha having to literally feed Carrie because she was too depressed to eat. That hit home, and in that moment I thought about my sisters and my best girlfriends. I thought about the night I had to sleep at Missy's after a severe breakup because I just couldn't be alone. I thought about J.Sarah taking phone calls at two in the morning when I was in pain from being so hurt by a person's callousness and coldness. I thought about Robin coming over one morning when I actually couldn't get out of bed because I was heartbroken, and I thought about Cassie asking me the hardest questions about myself even though they were meant to make my life easier.

Of course the tables have been turned and I have been the one to be the support system, but my being there for them is just as much as a given as they are there for me. It doesn't take watching a film to appreciate the bonds that we have, but it certainly is special to have a reason to reflect on those bonds and revere them.

It has been hard living without Carrie and the crew these past few years, because they, too, served as a constant support in my life. It may sound trite to some, but it wont to those who truly understand what it is like to be a single woman in a city with brains and beauty, looking for the ultimate purpose in life: love. But, as the film points out so well and so clearly, perhaps in the end its not about romantic love...but the love of your girlfriends and sisters that matters the most in this life. Having both is the icing on the cake.

Thankfully, in that sense, I have it all, just like Ms. Carrie Bradshaw.

Cheers...

2008-05-28T21:52:00.014-04:00

"A fortnight of dubious calm succeeded..." ~ Jane Eyre

The cottage room, main house, and reception area possess beautiful Japanese accents, and the gardens at the bed and breakfast also felt quite influenced by Japanese-style horticulture. I am a believer in feng-shui, and in addition to the physical environment achieving feng-shui (Chinese for "wind-water"), the energy between he and me also feels completely balanced, as it has been since our first date. When I am with him, a gentle wind blows over my soul and my emotions are as clear to me as water. It does not surprise me that a breakdown of the feng-shui theory is the yin/yang. It all comes down to energies balancing each other, whether that energy be love, passion, or desire.

The above photo was one of the prints in the bedroom depicting Japanese women preparing for a wedding. At first glance, there seems to be a great deal of chaos and activity, but if you focus deeper into the lines of the image, you see how evenly balanced the painting is, right down to the colors used. The deep and passionate red is balanced out by the cool and calming blue; an excess of either color would ruin the equilibrium. As one woman looks up, the other looks down; other women are facing each other on a perfect diagonal. There is a particular smooth curve to the riverbank the women stand on. There is nothing sharp or jagged about the lines - they all compliment each other in one fell motion of the brush.

Earlier this evening I was thinking about how some aspects of the Bushido of the samurai may be applied to a romantic relationship, especially rei. The amount of respect I have for him is immense; his mind and his soul command it. I know it is reciprocated, making it mutual and balanced.

Other aspects of the Bushido, such as self control, do not apply at all and it becomes a paradox of sorts. I lack all when it comes to him, yet I feel as though my emotions would be completely unaligned I possessed any at all...

2008-05-27T21:29:00.006-04:00

"The moon rose with such majesty..." ~ Jane Eyre

He and I spent the past two days amidst the landscapes of the Catskill mountains. Each moment was surrounded by majestic mountains, vibrant flowers, breathtaking views, lush greens, and sweet smelling air. The environs were also decadent, with a cottage room filled with Japanese prints and a zen-like feel. The photos he took show all of the bounty that encompassed us, and taking it all in had a dreamlike feel to it. There are posts to come about our romantic getaway, but they all deserve this preface...

This early afternoon I stood in the shower with a skylight above me and views of the foliage from the window. Literally soaking it all in, tears came to my eyes, immediately blending into the water that ran down on me. All of this - this majesty, this uncultivated perfection, this beauty around me - is nothing compared to the soul of the man I was with here. There is more vitality in him than there is in the lilacs I smelled...there is more passion in him than in the petals of the red roses on the grounds...there is more majesty in him than the the regal mountains outside of the door this morning...

2008-05-24T12:17:00.004-04:00

"That is my little boy..." ~ Jane Eyre

Dear Bloggers O' The World,

I, Jack Krikor, age 2 years and 10 months, am back on my Aunt Maimy's blog after a long hiatus! So much has happened since I was last here, so kick back and relax this holiday weekend like I am and enjoy this post!

I was just in the "Haamas" with my mommy and daddy. We went to Atlantis where I was able to unwind (see above) from my busy life adventures at home. On this trip I swam with some dolphins and went swimming in the ocean. I was a big hit with the lead singer of a Caribbean band one night because I was dancing with my happy feet! I think I taught her a few good dancing moves.

At home I have been mimicking Gene Kelly daily, as Maimy previously mentioned! There is lots of cool stuff I have for the summer when I play outside now! My parents got me a bike with training wheels and I have my very own lawnmower that makes bubbles.

I am now a little celebrity since my daddy and I won a local photo contest entitled "mini me." A local magazine hosted a contest and daddy and I won the front cover of the spread, looking good in our matching yellow polos!

I am breakfasting with Aunt Maimy tomorrow and hope that we get to spend a lot of time outdoors together. Maimy doesnt say no to ANY of my requests, so its looking good! I am talking up a storm now, so I am very persuasive with my words.

With love from me and my happy feet,

Jack Krikor

2008-05-21T09:13:00.005-04:00

"I know not whether the day was fair or foul..." ~ Jane Eyre

Last night, thanks to my sister Robin, I had the fortunate opportunity to see Patrick Stewart playing a Shakespearean role live for the second time in my life. Yesterday evening he played the most foul Macbeth, and I was no more than twenty feet away from him experiencing the hubris of his character and demise of his character’s life. The director set the play in a Stalin-esque backdrop, and the interpretation of the witches is one that made me draw my breath in. Of course I know the play inside and out after teaching it for six years, and I thought this production a great take on the great Bard’s work. I was not a fan of the Lady – she was too dramatic and intense too soon. Lady Macbeth must start out calm, cool, and collected, or we never see her stark and intense change by the end of the play; the actress played her intense since the first moment, which did not work well.

What always works well is anything Patrick Stewart performs. I admit to not being a Trekkie, but I always admire his work. I saw him over 12 years ago as Prospero: his best Shakespearean role in my opinion. He drew me in last night, but as Prospero he drew me in and had me at his commanding mercy. Sadly, I never saw his one man show of A Christmas Carol. I hope that he comes back to BAM more to perform Shakespeare. I would love to see him as Caesar; that is a dream role I envision him in next. He is truly a Shakespearean actor, something hard to come by these days, and I admit feeling jealousy for each cast member getting to share the stage with him last night. I admit: I have a "thing" for Patrick Stewart...

I hope you take the time to look at the review of the performance...and to check out wonderful photos from the production that capture its essence.

http://theater2.nytimes.com/2008/02/15/theater/reviews/15macb.html?scp=1&sq=macbeth%20patrick%20stewart&st=cse

2008-05-17T18:00:00.019-04:00

"Fell in love with..." ~ Jane Eyre

If he and I were to be characterized in terms of a piece of art, it would probably be one of my most loved: The Nighthawks by Edward Hopper. I fell in love with this other piece of art yesterday, a song, the moment I heard it when I was lying next to him. http://youtube.com/watch?v=SQO7IUrqXqY
Yesterday evening I ran into the very coffee shop where, in essence, this commenced over three months ago. I was grabbing two espressos for us before dinner and glanced at the table we sat at, smiling to myself as I ordered from the barrista. There is something about love in a coffee shop that is cliche, but you have to figure that there is not much else two people do but converse without distraction, sipping warm goodness with an opportunity to share conversation for hours. If you are fortunate, the person warms you more than what you are sipping at your lips warms you. I remember almost a week later after that meeting, which was never meant to be a date, we were back there sipping coffee and reading the Times on a date. Except we didnt read the Times. We just kept talking, and the conversation has not ceased. It has been a path of continual conversing that grows richer with each word in passing. As the lyrics go to the song, I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down/I want to come too.

I suppose what this blog needs is me spending time in a coffee shop with a red eye, infusing some more writing here lately and continuing a path I have made for over two years. Honestly, I am not myself lately, but I am happy not to be myself, for these recent moments in coffeeshops and elsewhere, have rendered me speechless.

And for the first time in my life...I love being speechless.

2008-05-12T00:36:00.001-04:00

"A change had taken place..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Mondays: Change

*CHANGING ROOMS*

2008-05-11T21:24:00.001-04:00

"My whim is gratified..." ~ Jane Eyre

As a child, I read plenty of fantasy fiction, from Tolkien to Lewis to Juster. One of my favorite movies was The Last Unicorn, which, ironically, I just learned that Christopher Lee was the voice of King Haggard (whom I recall in animation looked a lot like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons). To this day, I remember the lyrics to the song; I had watched the film dozens of times and am still disappointed to know that the rumors of a remake are false; they started back in 2005 and nothing has come to fruition.

Once I became a teenager, I pretty much abandoned fantasy fiction, and during college was pretentious and became all about the canon. I don't even really recall reading current fiction during my college years; it was strictly the classics until I started teaching. The most recent return to fantasy fiction was, of course, thanks to Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Still, they are the only characters I have read about in fantasy fiction as an adult until recently...

One of the first things my boyfriend and I started sharing when we began dating are books. We are both avid readers, though our taste in fiction differs, which makes sharing books all the more exciting. He is a fantasy fiction reader, and when he told me about a particular series last Sunday, I asked if I could borrow them.

On Tuesday night, I came home after a long day of recruiting to two books with a note from him that meant the world to me. The books that were left to borrow are by Naomi Novik who writes the Temeraire series. http://www.temeraire.org/ I am already halfway through His Majesty's Dragon and am so glad there are three more books after this one, because I am devouring it. I highly recommend the book to fellow bloggers. This is the first time in a long time that I am reading fantasy fiction, and I am enjoying it on so many levels, one being that I am experiencing books that he enjoys so very much. I feel that a passion I had as a child is renewed once again thanks to him.

2008-05-06T23:23:00.002-04:00

"'Oh, dear papa..." ~ Jane Eyre

Papa and I would like to invite you over for a cocktail this evening:
www.epicureanescapades.blogspot.com

2008-05-05T00:01:00.001-04:00

"At any time safely communicate..." ~ Jane Eyre
Mute Monday: Communication

2008-04-28T22:51:00.015-04:00

"With ceaseless rain sweeping away wildly..." ~ Jane Eyre

A few hours ago my nephew, who will turn three in September, was at the door when it was raining; I scooped him up and had him under my umbrella and twirled him around as I sang "Singin' in the Rain" off tune. He still laughed and smiled as I managed not to hit each note, happy to be swinging (and singing) in the rain.

Upon entering the kitchen where my two sisters were, he asked for the umbrella. I said it was wet, but his mom grabbed his plastic Elmo umbrella from the closet so he could play with one. I then started singing again, quietly, but this time catching the ears of my sisters.

The film with Gene Kelly is one that is embedded in the memories of our childhood that sing the notes of happiness we had during that time. It was a film passed on to us by our parents, and they loved it because their parents shared it with them. If we had a soundtrack of our sisterhood, there would be songs from Singing in the Rain.

Missy said that she had the DVD, and Robin said to take it out to show him the scene. It was still wrapped in plastic; she must have had it on the shelf for years without watching it. Still, my sisters and I once had that movie memorized, so there is no real time lost.

The track of the famous scene was 40. Jack stood watching seriously with his Elmo umbrella in hand. Melissa placed a hat on his head, and within a few moments of the scene starting, my nephew proceeded to imitate Gene Kelly in the scene, tapping with the umbrella, twirling it around, hoisting it on his shoulder, and jumping up and down as Kelly splashes in the puddles. He even managed to utter an "Uh Oh" when the policemen enters the end of the scene. It was one of the most adorable moments a child has ever had. Its on video...I have proof...and I will download it to share in the future.

But for now it remains a very private moment. You see, I saw the tears in the corners of my sisters' eyes, and I felt them in my own. There is so much that we want to give to the next generation that has been given to us, including song. For my nephew to share a scene and a song that linked our bond as sisters and daughters and granddaughters to our family was a special moment this evening. These are songs that represent the innocence of childhood, whether it is flying a kite, singing in the rain, or going somewhere over the rainbow. Each time he hears them for the first time, it is like we hear it again for the first time all over again, and its magic.

My brother-in-law had never seen the part of the film since he did not grow up here in America. So seeing him watch it for the first time with Jack was also special; we spent about 45 minute watching this scene and "Good Morning" as Jack danced, and believe me, it was a glorious feeling. (He saw "Make 'Em Laugh" but thought Donald O'Conner was really getting hurt, so we had to cease playing that scene)

Please enjoy a trip down memory lane...though Jack IS fierce competition for Mr. Kelly, folks, as you shall one day see. Hope you are singing if its raining...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bkEvy-9yVyQ

2008-04-28T07:54:00.000-04:00

"Where they make wine..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: Intoxicating

Clooney, Dempsey, Depp, Flynn, Bogart, Connery, Dino, Sinatra.

2008-04-26T14:13:00.014-04:00

"Sweet paintings of butterflies..." ~ Jane Eyre

It has been two and a half months, and the butterflies will not cease to exist inside of me. Their wings flap inside of my stomach as crisply as a white linen sheet drying outside on a windy spring day, refusing to cease for even a moment for some tranquility. When the phone indicates his number, they begin to move inside of me, as if they were walking up a stem, slowly approaching a flower that is steadily in bloom. When a time is set to meet him, they leave the pillar all together and fly in the space that is my stomach, speedily pounding their wings in sync to the rhythm of my heartbeat. Before the hour of which we are set to meet, I try to distract myself from their continual soaring in my soul. Nothing really helps cease their presence, so eventually my encompassing the butterflies becomes the butterflies encompassing me. As time passes, I become more and more skeptical that they shall ever leave. Then again, I love their beauty, as well as the beauty they represent, and realize that perhaps I do not wish for them to leave...

2008-04-22T08:51:00.011-04:00

"But not a matter one can comprehend..." ~ Jane Eyre

I am not at all fully coherent at three in the morning, though I suspect that was the hour that Pablo Neruda was his most eloquent. Trying to explain perceptions of poetry at that time a few weeks ago at that hour failed me; its always easier for me to pen my thoughts than to verbalize them.

Neruda is a poet I thought I knew. I have been reading his poems for the past fifteen years after seeing the film Il Postino. I have taught his poems, mainly his odes, to students. I even did a project in an MA poetry class on his works.

Within the past month, I realize that I never really knew him at all. Or at least I didnt really understand him. There are two collections of his that have been at my bedside of late: Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair and Full Woman, Fleshly Apple, Hot Moon. I am rereading poems I thought I knew, finding out that until this moment I never truly related to what Neruda expresses in his poems about passion in the depths of your soul, physical pleasure, and extreme vulnerability when it comes to love. All that I believed I understood I realize I did not comprehend. I feel like I am reading Neruda for the first time, the previous times perhaps being superficial relating to many of his stanzas. It is humbling on so many levels, and that is the beauty I find in reading his poems lately. I wish I spoke and read Spanish fluently, for I fear that sometimes his words get lost in translation, but I also trust the editors of these collections, because the words in English are...well...perfection.

My reading of Neruda has become so personal and private lately that I am not wanting to share the one that my soul relates to the most these days, and I probably never will here. Rather, I will share one, in both languages, that is first in his collection of love poems, always a favorite of mine, and certainly one I could see him writing in the early hours of the morning.

Body of a Woman
Body of a woman, white hills, white thighs,
You look like a world lying in surrender.
My rough peasant's body digs in you
And makes the son leap from the depth of the earth.

I was alone like a tunnel. The birds fled from me,
and night swamped me with its crushing invasion.
To survive myself I forged you like a weapon,
Like an arrow in my bow, like a stone in my sling.

But the hour of the vengeance falls, and I love you.
Body of skin, of moss, of avid and firm milk.
Oh the goblets of your breasts! Oh the eyes of absence!
Oh the roses of the pubis! Oh your slow and sad voice!

Body of my woman I will persist in your grace.
My thirst, my boundless desire, my shifting road!
Dark river beds where the eternal thirst flows,
and weariness follows, and the infinite ache.

Cuerpo de Mujer
Cuerpo de mujer, blancas colinas, muslos blancos,
te pareces al mundo en tu actitud de entrega.
Mi cuerpo de labriego salvaje te socava
y hace saltar el hijo del fondo de la tierra.
Fui solo como un túnel.
De mí huían los pájaros y en mí la noche entraba su invasión poderosa.
Para sobrevivirme te forjé como un arma,
como una flecha en mi arco, como una piedra en mi honda.
Pero cae la hora de la venganza,
y te amo.
Cuerpo de piel, de musgo, de leche ávida y firme.
Ah los vasos del pecho! Ah los ojos de ausencia!
Ah las rosas del pubis! Ah tu voz lenta y triste!
Cuerpo de mujer mía, persistiré en tu gracia.
Mi sed, mi ansia sin límite, mi camino indeciso!
Oscuros cauces donde la sed eterna sigue,
y la fatiga sigue, y el dolor infinito.

2008-04-21T09:30:00.000-04:00

"The sounds I had heard after the scream..." ~ Jane Eyre

With all due respect, there can be nothing mute about poetry. I have a deep sense of the figurative, but I chose to take this week literally.

Stanzas aside, the power of poetry gives those who are not poets a voice - a voice that comes deep from the soul and is incapable of being silent. To place poetry in a two dimensional form seems irreverent, and I find myself unable to do so. Poetry is a religion to me, and always shall be. Silence of it is sacrilege.

For I believe there is nothing as loud to an ear as poetry and nothing as verbose to a soul as a poem. Poetry is food, dear readers, so open up your mouth wide. This entire week here on this blog will be shouting out the glory of poems, because I cannot find it in my soul to make it mute.

Eating Poetry
by Mark Strand
Ink runs from the corners of my mouth.
There is no happiness like mine.I have been eating poetry.
The librarian does not believe what she sees.
Her eyes are sad
and she walks with her hands in her dress.
The poems are gone.
The light is dim.
The dogs are on the basement stairs and coming up.
Their eyeballs roll,their blond legs bum like brush.
The poor librarian begins to stamp her feet and weep.
She does not understand.
When I get on my knees and lick her hand, she screams.
I am a new man.I snarl at her and bark.
I romp with joy in the bookish dark.

2008-04-19T19:56:00.022-04:00

"And again he stood up and tried his foot..." ~ Jane Eyre

It was a quintessential girl's day out in New York City today. My twin and I ventured into Soho for some good eats and pampering; something our busy lives were in need of. We were also in need of some quality sister time and some heart to heart chatting.

The sun was bright and warm as we stepped out of the N/R subway line at Prince street. My favorite New York neighborhood was already bustling with brunchers and shoppers. We walked around before reaching Dos Caminos, a great Mexican restaurant whose sister branch we celebrated our 30th birthday at. Outdoor seating was abundant and enclosed by a wrought iron fence, with diners either drinking sangria, mojitos, or frozen margaritas. All of us ladies ate with sunglasses on, making it all the more easier to gawk at each other in true NYC femme fashion.

Our table was soon filled with guacamole, chips, frozen margaritas, lobster ceviche, and mini grilled chicken tacos. The conversation was filled about both the beauty and the apprehension of new relationships, since both of us are immersed in the newness of two great men. In true sisterhood, both sensitivity and tough loved went back and forth between us two. In the spirit of the day, we both realized that relaxing was the answer, for what is meant to be is meant to be.

And on that note we finished our blissful meal and headed to Bliss Spa Soho, a gift from our dear cousin for our 30th birthday. I love the smell of spas, and Bliss certainly had that mixed smell of peppermint and vanilla that most spas possess as their aroma. Bliss is bright and blue; my sister opted for a facial while I opted for a pedicure. We parted ways since our treatment rooms were on different levels, and the bliss began.

I didn't choose just any pedicure, dear readers. Oh no...

I chose the Double Chocolate Pedicure.

I arrived in the nail salon; the walls were papered with images of a beach. In front of me was a table with iced water and teas and small cookies and pieces of fruit. The racks for the nail polish containers were mounted from the ceiling, and I immediately chose a bright pink for the toes...sexy for spring. My technician was so sweet, and I walked up two steps to sit in the chair and didn't get up for almost an hour and a half after that.

The technician left for a little while and came back with a large, aluminum bowl filled with hot milk and chocolate pieces. I placed my feet in, and from that moment on I was in some other world for the next hour and a half. She was slow and meticulous, and I wished her scrub and massage lasted all day. Little did I realize that the title of the pedicure was literal; I had chocolate at my feet, and within twenty minutes of sitting down, I had chocolate at my mouth. A bowl of chocolate ice cream topped with whipped cream and cinnamon was presented to me. Imagine: sitting in a chair with your feet soaking in chocolate as you eat chocolate; I shall never be skeptical of the spa's name...never ever.

So as stressful and busy as life has been lately, I know I am so fortunate to have a day like this with my sister, in the best city in the world, doing something good for ourselves. I hope you do something nice for yourself this weekend...

Treat yourself to some Bliss, too!
http://www.blissworld.com/

2008-04-15T18:21:00.003-04:00

"And teaches French..." ~ Jane Eyre

Merci beaucoup to all for their good wishes; I am feeling much better since the weekend and did some cooking. For today's post, please visit Epicurean Escapades!

http://epicureanescapades.blogspot.com/

2008-04-09T20:43:00.025-04:00

"By a sheet of ice..." Jane Eyre

At the moment I am feverish and eating small bites of mint chocolate ice cream. I haven't eaten much for the past two days except for some rice and pretzels, but this evening I had the sudden craving for ice cream and just ran to Baskin Robbins for a single scoop; it may not get my fever down, but it certainly is refreshing. Its not chocolate chip, either. It has chocolate crunchies laced through the mint ice cream; even better, I say.

Lately, my associations with ice cream relate to Jack. He only eats vanilla, and he gets rather excited and shouts out "ice cream" anytime its offered or he knows its coming in a restaurant. I admit that I love indulging him with it. His Aunt Maimy loves nothing more than to take a scoop of Haagen Dazs and plop it into his Le Petite Prince bowl and then proceed to spoon feed him as he watches Curious George before bedtime. Le Petite Prince, indeed.

As you know, when I was a young girl visiting my grandparents' home, my grandmother Anoush never let us leave without eating something. Many times this something was an ice cream come. She always kept cones in the pantry and I remember my favorite flavor being a Dolly Madison orange and vanilla creme that she stacked oh so well. She made sure that she pressed the ice cream into the bottom of the cone. Her freezer always had ice cream in it, and during summers after shish kebab dinner, my sisters and I always enjoyed big bowls of rainbow sherbert that she served in lime green plastic bows as we sat outside on the stoop.

My mother always teased me because I always managed to get chocolate ice cream on my t-shirts in the summertime when I was a child. She said it was a continual pattern. I loved when my chocolate ice cream got almost soupy in the bowl and I would work hard to get it all on the spoon; it never ever quite stayed on the spoon, but my mother was always very understanding. She has to be; my chocoholism is inherited from her.

The first song I ever heard performed by Sarah McLachlan was "Ice Cream." I remember by friend Tea playing it for me and felt an instant allure to her voice and to the lyrics. Though at the time I was a teenager and scoffed them; how could anything be better than my beloved cookie dough? Well, as I have gotten older my views have changed and tonight I especially empathize with her lyrics. I am so feverish and miserable tonight and wish I could give up this ice cream and have him here instead. He is better that ice cream..he is so much better.

View: Ice Cream - Sarah McLachlan

(*Please tell me your favorite ice cream flavor when you comment...*)

2008-04-02T23:05:00.016-04:00

"I fancy a likeness..." ~ Jane Eyre

Thank you to Frumteacher for this picture meme! I am tagging all bloggers!

1. What is your current relationship status?

2. What is your current mood?
3. Who is your favorite band/singer?

4. What is your favorite movie?

5. What kind of pets do you have?

6. Where do you live?

7. Where do you work?

8. What do you look like?

9. What do you drive?

10. What did you do last night?

11. What is your favorite tv show?

12. Describe yourself.

13. What are you doing tomorrow?

14. What is your name?

15. What is your favorite candy?

2008-03-31T10:59:00.001-04:00

"Comes before the great ones of society..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Mondays: GREATNESS

Homer, Sharon Olds, William Shakespeare, Denise Levertov, Pablo Neruda, Walt Whitman, Sappho, Geoffrey Chaucer

2008-03-24T21:11:00.007-04:00

"The noises I hear round me are bubbling..." ~ Jane Eyre

It has been the most mauvaise of Mondays.

Compounding finishing a regimen of antibiotics last night and battling exhaustion each day, the day itself was exceptionally ridiculous in how many aspects went wrong since walking through my office door at eight thirty this morning. It was such a wonderful feeling to walk through my door this evening, slam the door to the outside world, change into pajamas by seven o'clock, eat some leftover lamb from Easter, and turn on some vintage Madonna. Speaking to J.Sarah tonight was the best part of my day, and being reassured by my kindred spirit that the half life of the meds was quick, I realized that a celebration was in order after I finished discussing her trip to Germany she just arrived home from.

At first I thought wine - I have tons of Beaujolais. A nice glass of red with the New Yorker; perfect ending to a bad day. However, today was no ordinary bad day - it was filled with instances that made me think back to the Alexander of my youth, though I wish I was in France and not Australia.

So, what is a fille to do if she cant go to France?

Drink champagne.

I had a half bottle of Moet White Star and popped that cork, knowing it was a good remedy for a bad day. After all, people do have bad days in France, such as the bar maid in the Manet painting. She looks tres fatigue.

Having bubbles fizz up my nose as I sipped made the day all better. It was cold and refreshing, dry and crisp. Sometimes it is not enough to reward yourself with the usual and familiar. Sometimes you have to remember how much you love yourself and want yourself cheered up.

Sometimes you just have to drink champagne.

2008-03-22T13:47:00.004-04:00

"Providence has blessed my endeavours..." ~ Jane Eyre

Last night we gathered at my sister's for fish dinner - tilapia seasoned with Old Bay and fresh lemon and shrimp with linguine with diced tomatoes and fresh basil. Prior to dinner, Robin and I colored eggs with Jack. My parents arrived as we were coloring the eggs. Normally, Jack greets people with a big smile and little dance, his aunties included, but my parents are the exception. He runs into their arms for big hugs. I took this photo just as he ran into my father for a hug yesterday evening.

I think it shall become one of my favorite photos of my father and of Jack. In this quick moment I was able to capture the intensity of love on my father's face for his grandson, and able to capture my nephew's absolute adoration of his "Pah." It is still hard for me to look at it without getting teary.

I do not take the moments I have with my family for granted. I am blessed. Truly, I am. We are having such a wonderful holiday celebration together; I know I am fortunate to have these moments, and I capture as many as I can in my heart, for I know we all get older, things change. Thankfully, my family, and their spirit, is always a constant.

2008-03-17T15:29:00.006-04:00

"As well as her nature would permit her..." ~ Jane Eyre

Mute Monday: Mother Nature
O'Keefe, Dali, Monet, Seurat, Van Gogh

2008-03-16T19:08:00.028-04:00

"I thought only of the bliss..." ~ Jane Eyre

My hair is sopping wet because my body is too tired to even hold my hairdryer. Instead, my wet curls create streaks of dark grey against the light grey material of his baseball t-shirt which I keep grabbing the collar of and placing it to my nose because it smells like him. Sleeping in this shirt will make sleeping alone tonight easier. I sip some DuBoeuf Beaujolais and think back to sitting on the couch together with wine in hand, laughing at a cork that ended up in the bottle. I think about how so many things in life seem impossible, like ships in bottles, and try to remember that even that is possible. It is possible to experience bliss for days at a time, even in ways that may seem subtle and prosaic. Perhaps in the end those moments are when bliss can truly happen. Like pulling over on a road to look at the ocean in a small corner of a shoreline and taking photos of each other. Like running your fingers through his thick, dark hair as he sleeps, inhaling deeply as you listen to him breathe. Like eating leftover sag paneer and roti for breakfast together. Like standing out on a deck having an animated discussion about politics and NPR's responsibility to listeners as you wrongfully hold a menthol between your fingers and exhale at the sheer awe of his ideas. Like listening to Sinatra sing "My Funny Valentine" as you drive towards Atlantic City. Moments more private, moments in public, moments in a car stuck in traffic. Mostly moments of laughter. Moments you would like to bottle up and taste over and over again. In a recent moment, I was told that I am a hopeless romantic. I don't think that is true. Perhaps a hopeful romantic, but I do not see romance through rose colored glasses. I can see it clearly, realistically. Pragmatically enough to know that such blissful moments with a special man are not common, but unique and to be savored. And, above all else, to be discernibly thankful for.

2008-03-08T12:32:00.000-05:00

"I trust I shall not eat long at your expense, sir." ~ Jane Eyre

For the past few weeks, breakfast at my desk has gone something like this: my oatmeal sits half eaten and bits of strawberries begin to congeal into the oats as I stare into the plastic bowl and think about how hungry I am but am not really that hungry. I hold my spoon in vain for another minute as I stare into the oat-laden abyss until I get completely fed up and toss both the bowl and my spoon into the trash can. I sip some more of my French vanilla flavored coffee, but can’t really finish that either since I feel my feet fidget underneath my desk an know that drinking more of my beloved java will exacerbate their movement even more so. Lunch is no better. I go out with the girls from work and waste money on half eaten slices of salad pizza, half eaten six inch sandwiches from Subway that have my favorite sweet onion dressing in them, and half eaten spicy tuna rolls whose wasabi never gets to spice up my mouth completely and whose wooden chopsticks never get fully stained with soy sauce at the tips. This week I have had dinner plans each night – unable to finish sweet potato fries, Armenian manti, and small mounds of guacamole on my plate with chunky bits of luscious avocado. The only food I am managing to eat in entirety is anything consisting of chocolate, but its more like I finish two thirds rather than just a half.

It is eleven years to the semester that I sat freshman year in a Chaucer class, which was a class at ten o’clock in the morning I leisurely walked to after a delicious breakfast in the Student Union at Hofstra University. I was the only freshman student in the class, for I had placed out of freshman English and was already taking electives as an English major. To this day, one of my most prized texts is the resource guide to Chaucer, which includes poems and medieval testimonies to the life and times of Chaucer’s period of life. The text would not be valid if it did not include the Art of Courtly Love, for that is what Chaucer referenced often for his stories. There is a litany of facts and rules pertaining to being in love in this particular set of codes, most of which I thoroughly disagree with except for a few. Making the top ten of the medieval manifest that seems to pertain to my problem is is: Eating and sleeping diminish greatly when one is aggravated by love.

Aggravated is certainly the operative word here.

Of course I am not aggravated by the reason I cannot eat lately; that is a reason I am extremely and utterly grateful for. I am just aggravated that my stomach decided to get involved in matters of the heart and create less green matter in my wallet each time I go out to eat or go to the supermarket without enjoying the bounties of my purchases.

Still, manifest or no manifest, I still felt like an utter anomaly at lunch with my friend J-Lo yesterday afternoon. I was pushing pasta primavera around my plate and pouting.

Finally, I asked, “Were you able to eat when you first met J?”

My friend responded with a big laugh, eyed me knowing what was really going on, and said, “Ask J what I ate on our first date when we met at the diner.”

The diner? Burgers, fries, shakes, ice cream. I felt more and more outré.

“You cant do that! You have to tell me now!”

“Half a diet coke. He had a burger and fries, and I had half a diet coke.”

And with those words about a half drunken carbonated beverage, I felt a little more at ease and was able to finish my pasta.

Being able to sleep last night, on the other hand, is another tale...

2008-03-02T20:09:00.014-05:00

"Though it was now dark, I knew he was awake..." ~ Jane Eyre

I have read the poem by Pushkin. I have seen Tchaikovsky's opera performed at the MET. I have watched the film adaptation. The rest of the story aside, what strikes me the most about Eugene Onegin is that singular scene when Tatyana is unable to sleep at night. Ignoring the surrounding situation, looking closely at that moment is the essence of passion and soul. Tonight on PBS, highlights of greatest performances at the Metropolitan Opera House are being shown; I have been fortunate to have the experience of seeing opera there, and seeing my favorite operatic heroine sing what is known as the letter aria.

She is in love, and she cannot ease her mind until she writes him a letter. (I write to you - what else is there? What else, what more may I attempt) She professes her love to him, line by line, unable to sleep because her body stirs at the mere thought of him. The letter is far from brief; rather, it is almost an epic poem of how deep her soul has been struck by his essence. It is a stunning moment in opera and the quintessential aria.

As always, art imitates life. Of late my hands do not type, and my balance of writing here is thrown off. Instead, my fingers hold a pen and write words, such as Tatyana's, that lie firmly pressed between sheets of paper and shall remain pressed there. In the meantime, I press myself into the pillow he slept on last night and inhale, breathing in inspiration to write, even if the words are never to be read by anyone but myself.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fMv07i_PrCg (Mirella Freni as Tatyana...)

2008-02-24T12:35:00.004-05:00

"And glide through the dazzled ranks of the village children..." ~ Jane Eyre

This photo was taken yesterday afternoon; my father pulled Jack along in his sled and my sister captured the moment. There is still snow on the ground here this early Sunday afternoon, though today the sun is bright and the reflection of it in the snow is even brighter. I feel bright looking at this photo of my booboo in his mittens and B-52 bomber hat; he is a real, live snow angel. If you leave a comment, tell me about your favorite childhood memories in the snow - if you lived somewhere where it did snow, that is!

2008-02-22T11:15:00.004-05:00

"Repeated the general blending of snow..." ~ Jane Eyre

Six cups of french vanilla coffee are brewing as Frank sings "My Funny Valentine" and I dry my hair from the snowflakes falling on my curls after shoveling my walkway a few moments ago. Though I changed back into my flannel pajamas, I am not going back to sleep despite wanting to go under my covers and cozy up to the tank top that smells like him and inhale a new romance. There are two books by my couch to be read this afternoon, and I am pondering what I want to defrost from my freezer for lunch; I am leaning towards split pea soup with ham that I made about a month ago. I am reveling in the class and composure Barack showed last night after Hillary's lamely constructed xerox comment; indeed, she is silly to think that her snarky remark was going to fly with the audience. Although I am happy it is a day for a snowstorm, I am checking out the Spring Fashion of the Times online, curious about the upcoming trends for the season. I see a Miu Miu leather clutch in the design of a dragon fly that is gorgeous not only for its design but because it is also pink. A part of me hopes this snow turns to rain by early evening - I am supposed to eat dinner with Jack and his parental units this evening. I spoke with him before and asked if he was excited to put his snow boots on and play in the snow. He replied "Yup!" He says yup, not yes, and I guess you have to be an aunt to understand how endearingly cute that is. I know I should take advantage of the day and get some paperwork done this afternoon, but I am trying to procrastinate with that until at least two o'clock. Checking out upcoming exhibitions at museums is tops on my ways to procrastinate list. The MET has a very interesting exhibit happening in the Costume Institute that relates to blogging; I want to get there in March before it closes in April: http://www.metmuseum.org/special/se_event.asp?OccurrenceId={FBCA0E60-48CD-4114-84C6-875AB7C411BA} The exhibit after this relates to fashion and superheroes, which also sounds like a fun collection to view. Of course anytime I think of fashion and superheroes, I think of underoos and how my poor mother had to buy three sets of Wonder Woman 'roos for me and my sisters. That makes me think about how after we were out in the snow on a snow day we came in and my mom had us sit in our long johns on the radiator cover to warm up...

2008-02-19T14:24:00.003-05:00

"I devoured a spoonful or two..." ~ Jane Eyre

Jack is taking a class called "Broadway Babies" which meets once a week and professional actors and musicians take a musical and turn it into a one hour learning and interactive session for toddlers. It is too cute for words. Since Mary Poppins is Jack's favorite musical (see entry dated October 7, 2007), he has been very excited for the past two weeks knowing that they were going to be performing a session! Although he has a cold and didnt sleep well last night, my sister, brother-in-law, and I took him this morning and the experience was priceless. Here is is with Pop Pop and Bert in a photo I shot after the performance. I admit that when the actors opened the door to the studio and were dressed as the characters saying hello IN character, I got a bit teary when I saw the look on his face. He was beaming. Indeed, we do relive our childhood through our children, and in that moment I got to go back and be just as excited to see her as he was.