"You have never..." ~ Jane Eyre

Whilst I know its important to never say never, this afternoon I was thinking about things I would never do. It wasn't a moment that depressed me at all. On the contrary, it made me quite content.

I will never go skydiving. Though I fear drowning more than anything else, I can't imagine falling from the sky and my well-being depending on a parachute. I probably wouldn't go scuba diving either. I have seen too many scary movies where oxygen tanks run out and such.

I will never make pate no matter how fancy the cocktail party is that I host. The thought of even chopping up chicken livers makes me queasy. I have a hard enough time touching red meat when in the kitchen; I can't even contemplate dealing with organs.

I will never drive a mini-van. While I admire all of the soccer moms out there in their Dodge Caravans, I think the largest car size I can drive is an SUV. Besides, I do not plan on having a big brood at all. Still, I think I can be a soccer mom and bring the Sunny Delight without having to schlep it to the field in a mini-van.

I will never utter "YUM-O" in my kitchen like Rachel Ray does. Rachel Ray-isms are extremely annoying, as is her show. What on earth is "stoop"? I admit to trying a few of her recipes and liking them, but I wish she wasn't so corny. Lime and I once had an IM conversation that read something like this...
Lime: YES!
TN: What?
Lime: Rachel Ray just burned herself!
TN: YES!

I will never dye my hair blond. It is too dark to consider doing so, anyway. Even if I was contemplating it, which I am not, the Carrie Bradshaw roots have been out of style for a while now. I miss Carrie Bradshaw. I will never look at Sarah Jessica Parker and not think of Carrie Bradshaw.

I will never read a book written by Joan Collins.

I will never eat White Castle hamburgers. Even the biggest foodie I know, J.Sarah, has done this one. I just can't. Chaz chastised me for saying I will never do it. I have never been inside a Taco Bell, either. However, I would love to try a T.B. Chalupa. Those look so good.

I will never ride a bike down an avenue in New York City. Though I have no issues with driving in the city. I love cutting off cabbies. I am fearless once I cross the Midtown Tunnel. I will never lay off my horn when driving in la cite. Its quite a rush.

I will never drink wine out of a box.

I will never change my voter registration card to Republican. I admit that over time I have become a moderate Democrat, but I still love James Carville and I still believe Gore won the 2000 election. That being said, I will never, ever, never vote for Hillary Clinton for president. She is irksome.

I will never pay to see a movie with Tom Cruise in it ever again. I have boycotted him ever since he made his asinine comments about Brooke Shields and refuse to support him at the box office. (Note: I did purchase the Top Gun DVD long before I knew he was a jerk, so watching that movie doesn't count in this particular boycott)

I will never step foot into Fenway Park. If I did, it would be to see them get defeated by the Yankees as I sat in the stands wearing Yankee blue and the number two.

I will never eat lunch in the faculty room. It is a very negative place to be at times, and I avoid it at all costs.

I will never watch a game of golf on TV.

I will never go to a tanning salon. Missy and I did it twice in the months before her wedding. As fun as it was bonding with her and feeling warm while in the "bed," I will never go again.

I will never catch fireflies in a jar. As kids, we just held the fireflies on our fingers until they flew away. As beautiful as they are in a jar, its not right to trap them unless its for a little while and then they are promptly released.

I will never drink a dry martini or eat the olive in the dry martini.