"A voice exclaimed..." ~ Jane Eyre

It is late Sunday night and I am sipping banana vanilla liquor with skim milk and ice (the bottle came recently as a souvenir from St. Martin) and smelling my new cinnamon platter (another kind gift from my sister's trip), wishing there were lots and lots of words on that platter to take and devour here on this blog. Last night the Prince turned to me, as he has a few times in the past month, bringing up the subject of the blog. "I know, I know" I say.

I know.

Somewhere in this cold winter my voice seems to have gone into hibernation...huddled tightly amidst the cold that brought on by life's tragic circumstances. Though, as days become more manageable, I am beginning to feel a thaw...perhaps a fresh ray of sunlight through all of this...and work to wake up this voice that has been resting.

Tuesday I enter my 31st year, and that is the day that I hope this voice is reborn...

"The cold winter wind had brought with it clouds so somber..." ~ Jane Eyre

Snow is falling on New York City and the surrounding areas, mine included. It is quiet and still outside save a few notes here and there from a few birds eating seed out of our birdhouse shaped like a Victorian three-story home.

I am home, alone, and keeping my own self warm. I am rather cold-blooded and lack good circulation - the Prince jokes that perhaps I am a Vampire. At the moment, I am up to reading the third book in the Twilight series, Eclipse, and just read four chapters this late afternoon. I admit that as hard as I resisted, I have become a fan of this unique series. I suppose it is the passion between Bella and Edward that is captivating, and Meyers has a talent for touching into that deep yearning and longing one feels when she is in love with a Prince. Art imitates life, and the obstacles the couple faces are long and difficult, but they remain a solid unit in the end despite all of their turmoil.

I am bundled up in a grey turtleneck sweater and the heat dial reads 80 and I still have two pairs of socks on. I made soup: Curried Butternut Squash and Apple. I have every intention of spending at least an hour in a hot shower tonight - I just cannot seem to shake a chill I have had since getting home from errands around noon today. Football is on in the background, of course, and I cannot imagine fans watching these playoff games in this weather. I look forward to watching the Giants game tomorrow underneath a pile of blankets next to the Prince in bed.

I would like to take a walk in this snow, but I am too exhausted. In the wake of Anthony's death, I am still drained emotionally and physically from the aftermath. I realize today that its not even one month yet...that what seems so long ago is so close. I am still not able to get warm...

"Improvements in diet..." ~ Jane Eyre

Good Things Monday:

1) Weight Watchers Smart Ones Desserts: I am officially on Weight Watchers as of tomorrow and many of the products that Weight Watchers makes are life savers, mainly the desserts. I have a pretty bad sweet tooth, so I am grateful that I dont have to worry about giving up sweets as I do this!
http://www.weightwatchers.com/index.aspx

2) Valentine Trees: As a child in elementary school, I remember my friend Tea's mom (who is amazingly creative and an amazing cook) keeping up one of three artificial Christmas trees after the holiday and turning it into a Valentine Tree. I did not have time to truly enjoy my tree this year. Aside from that fact, my anniversary with the Prince IS Valentine's Day. So, tonight I am starting to put together my Valentine tree! I am sewing my skirt tonight (black velvet with red roses on it) and will mount the top - a huge heart. I shall show photos when I finish here on my blog. http://www.ehow.com/how_13854_decorate-valentine-tree.html

3) Foot Spahhhhs: Among many of my Christmas gifts from the Prince, I got an at-home foot spa kit for the days when my feet really hurt after having to ride the subway. Forget sitting anywhere with it but on your couch (there is a splash guard on it) while your feet soak in it as you sip some tea. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FHAMXI

4) The New York Times Magazine: The editors noted that the food section each Sunday is going to be an ecclectic assortment to come. I had the pleasure of reading today an article about a food editor's four year old son who LOVES to cook with him...and cooks well! Enjoy:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/04/magazine/04food-t-000.html?_r=1&ref=magazine

5) H&M: Yes, its not a new store at all. But these days if you dont have money for a new wardrobe, they have the BEST accessories to spice up your current wardrobe. Cheap earrings, scarves, rings, bracelets. You name it! You can change the look of your usual outerware in a matter of moments. http://www.hm.com/us/#/holiday2008/

"The New Year had been celebrated..." ~ Jane Eyre

My New Year's resolution is simple: be greedier.

It may strike one as an odd resolution at first, but it actually is not. Its the best resolution one can give herself, and I have every intention of sticking to this resolution.

I am going to want more time savoring what is best in my life. I do so already, but one can never be too rich in the simple pleasures and serene beauty of everyday moments with a lover, with friends, and with family. I do not take my blessings for granted, but I can take a little bit more from life. In the wake of the tragedy that has ensued, this is a promise to myself. I am taking more...much more...bowlfuls more.

More dates set to cook with Jack. More reasons to gather friends around me. More time for myself. More moments for creativity. More time to sip my coffee rather than gulp it. More time for my body to slim down. More time to blog. More time on the phone with my parents when we talk. More indulging in cookbook recipes. More naps on weekends. More champagne drinking when at a bar. More days at the beach this summer. More cocktails with umbrellas in them. More music for the Ipod. More comedies and less dramas.

When I am with the Prince, more minutes before our lips part during a kiss, more time holding each other, more pauses so I can stare into his eyes, more time away together on weekend getaways, more nights just sitting on the couch drinking scotch, more cooking meals together in the kitchen, more lazy days playing Star Wars video games, more days out on the town in Manhattan, more time together with each other's families.

Happy New Year to my dear readers - may you be greedy this year and enjoy each moment of life....