"And that faithful friendship..." ~ Jane Eyre
Carrie has carried me through many a Sunday night when Saturday dreams were hanging out to dry. She and her crew also comforted me, along with Chinese take out (usually chicken lo mein) and a cheap bottle of chardonnay, on many a Friday night when I preferred to get a manicure and stay home for the evening after a long and stressful work week.
But it is my friends and sisters who have carried me through the severe moments of life's greatest pains and obstacles, and this kind of deep support from friends was reflected on the screen tonight above all else.
Yes, there was a festive and flirty feel to seeing the film tonight with my dear cousin, for three years ago we watched the last episode together in her den while eating desserts and learning Big's real name. Tonight we dressed up, we got cosmos after the movie, we fussed over the fashions in the film as we drank our pink drinks. It was a celebration on many levels, especially a celebration of friendship and sororial bonds.
For me, the best parts of the film were not about shoes, bags, sex, or the city. The most poignant parts dealt with the essence of friendship down to its rawest moments. I teared up often during the film, but sobbed when I saw Samantha having to literally feed Carrie because she was too depressed to eat. That hit home, and in that moment I thought about my sisters and my best girlfriends. I thought about the night I had to sleep at Missy's after a severe breakup because I just couldn't be alone. I thought about J.Sarah taking phone calls at two in the morning when I was in pain from being so hurt by a person's callousness and coldness. I thought about Robin coming over one morning when I actually couldn't get out of bed because I was heartbroken, and I thought about Cassie asking me the hardest questions about myself even though they were meant to make my life easier.
Of course the tables have been turned and I have been the one to be the support system, but my being there for them is just as much as a given as they are there for me. It doesn't take watching a film to appreciate the bonds that we have, but it certainly is special to have a reason to reflect on those bonds and revere them.
It has been hard living without Carrie and the crew these past few years, because they, too, served as a constant support in my life. It may sound trite to some, but it wont to those who truly understand what it is like to be a single woman in a city with brains and beauty, looking for the ultimate purpose in life: love. But, as the film points out so well and so clearly, perhaps in the end its not about romantic love...but the love of your girlfriends and sisters that matters the most in this life. Having both is the icing on the cake.
Thankfully, in that sense, I have it all, just like Ms. Carrie Bradshaw.
Reader, welcome to my life.
- Name: ThursdayNext
- Location: New York, United States
Friday, May 30, 2008
"And that faithful friendship..." ~ Jane Eyre
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
The cottage room, main house, and reception area possess beautiful Japanese accents, and the gardens at the bed and breakfast also felt quite influenced by Japanese-style horticulture. I am a believer in feng-shui, and in addition to the physical environment achieving feng-shui (Chinese for "wind-water"), the energy between he and me also feels completely balanced, as it has been since our first date. When I am with him, a gentle wind blows over my soul and my emotions are as clear to me as water. It does not surprise me that a breakdown of the feng-shui theory is the yin/yang. It all comes down to energies balancing each other, whether that energy be love, passion, or desire.
The above photo was one of the prints in the bedroom depicting Japanese women preparing for a wedding. At first glance, there seems to be a great deal of chaos and activity, but if you focus deeper into the lines of the image, you see how evenly balanced the painting is, right down to the colors used. The deep and passionate red is balanced out by the cool and calming blue; an excess of either color would ruin the equilibrium. As one woman looks up, the other looks down; other women are facing each other on a perfect diagonal. There is a particular smooth curve to the riverbank the women stand on. There is nothing sharp or jagged about the lines - they all compliment each other in one fell motion of the brush.
Earlier this evening I was thinking about how some aspects of the Bushido of the samurai may be applied to a romantic relationship, especially rei. The amount of respect I have for him is immense; his mind and his soul command it. I know it is reciprocated, making it mutual and balanced.
Other aspects of the Bushido, such as self control, do not apply at all and it becomes a paradox of sorts. I lack all when it comes to him, yet I feel as though my emotions would be completely unaligned I possessed any at all...
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
"The moon rose with such majesty..." ~ Jane Eyre
He and I spent the past two days amidst the landscapes of the Catskill mountains. Each moment was surrounded by majestic mountains, vibrant flowers, breathtaking views, lush greens, and sweet smelling air. The environs were also decadent, with a cottage room filled with Japanese prints and a zen-like feel. The photos he took show all of the bounty that encompassed us, and taking it all in had a dreamlike feel to it. There are posts to come about our romantic getaway, but they all deserve this preface...
This early afternoon I stood in the shower with a skylight above me and views of the foliage from the window. Literally soaking it all in, tears came to my eyes, immediately blending into the water that ran down on me. All of this - this majesty, this uncultivated perfection, this beauty around me - is nothing compared to the soul of the man I was with here. There is more vitality in him than there is in the lilacs I smelled...there is more passion in him than in the petals of the red roses on the grounds...there is more majesty in him than the the regal mountains outside of the door this morning...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
"I know not whether the day was fair or foul..." ~ Jane Eyre
Last night, thanks to my sister Robin, I had the fortunate opportunity to see Patrick Stewart playing a Shakespearean role live for the second time in my life. Yesterday evening he played the most foul Macbeth, and I was no more than twenty feet away from him experiencing the hubris of his character and demise of his character’s life. The director set the play in a Stalin-esque backdrop, and the interpretation of the witches is one that made me draw my breath in. Of course I know the play inside and out after teaching it for six years, and I thought this production a great take on the great Bard’s work. I was not a fan of the Lady – she was too dramatic and intense too soon. Lady Macbeth must start out calm, cool, and collected, or we never see her stark and intense change by the end of the play; the actress played her intense since the first moment, which did not work well.
What always works well is anything Patrick Stewart performs. I admit to not being a Trekkie, but I always admire his work. I saw him over 12 years ago as Prospero: his best Shakespearean role in my opinion. He drew me in last night, but as Prospero he drew me in and had me at his commanding mercy. Sadly, I never saw his one man show of A Christmas Carol. I hope that he comes back to BAM more to perform Shakespeare. I would love to see him as Caesar; that is a dream role I envision him in next. He is truly a Shakespearean actor, something hard to come by these days, and I admit feeling jealousy for each cast member getting to share the stage with him last night. I admit: I have a "thing" for Patrick Stewart...
I hope you take the time to look at the review of the performance...and to check out wonderful photos from the production that capture its essence.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
"Fell in love with..." ~ Jane Eyre
If he and I were to be characterized in terms of a piece of art, it would probably be one of my most loved: The Nighthawks by Edward Hopper. I fell in love with this other piece of art yesterday, a song, the moment I heard it when I was lying next to him. http://youtube.com/watch?v=SQO7IUrqXqY
Yesterday evening I ran into the very coffee shop where, in essence, this commenced over three months ago. I was grabbing two espressos for us before dinner and glanced at the table we sat at, smiling to myself as I ordered from the barrista. There is something about love in a coffee shop that is cliche, but you have to figure that there is not much else two people do but converse without distraction, sipping warm goodness with an opportunity to share conversation for hours. If you are fortunate, the person warms you more than what you are sipping at your lips warms you. I remember almost a week later after that meeting, which was never meant to be a date, we were back there sipping coffee and reading the Times on a date. Except we didnt read the Times. We just kept talking, and the conversation has not ceased. It has been a path of continual conversing that grows richer with each word in passing. As the lyrics go to the song, I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down/I want to come too.
I suppose what this blog needs is me spending time in a coffee shop with a red eye, infusing some more writing here lately and continuing a path I have made for over two years. Honestly, I am not myself lately, but I am happy not to be myself, for these recent moments in coffeeshops and elsewhere, have rendered me speechless.
And for the first time in my life...I love being speechless.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Labels: Mute Mondays
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Monday, May 05, 2008
Labels: Mute Mondays