A special thank you to K( (www.sparringk9.blogspot.com) who once again created Christmas CD's for her readers this year. I look forward to them each year, and this year was even more special since it was a tough season to get through. Thank you, my beloved K9, for this wonderful gift of your amazing talents. It made me smile after the tears...

"Had not yet found that peace of God which passeth all understanding..." ~ Jane Eyre

The photo above is one I took a week ago in the early hours of dawn. A blanket of snow had just covered New York, and I stepped outside the door to my apartment, where this classic latern is located, with my camera to try and caputure this serene moment. I had slept another unrestful night and sought some refuge for peace and quiet outside.

To me, the paradigm of peace is the outdoors after a snowfall. There is nothing but a calm silence that permeates the air the snowflakes fall in. The white on the ground is indicative of purity itself, and something about it all just envokes serenity in the heart.

I look to the latern and hope to find some light in my heart, for it has been heavy these past two weeks. I thank all those who left comments of kindness here; they mean so very much. My Christmas was blessed, and I am so thankful to have spent it with the love of my life and my family. The Prince told me that I must start writing again, and I shall. Another day or so and I shall...

My dear, sweet, beloved Prince's best friend has died...Eyre Affairs is on hiatus this one week....may you all hold your family close more than ever and may you call your friends and express your love for them this week.

"The pattering rain on the forest leaves was the only sound audible..." Jane Eyre

He texts me to ask what train I am on, and I tell him the time. He then asks if he can pick me up at his station, the one right before mine. His explanation is "so you do not have to walk in the rain."

So there I am, on a commuter train sitting in a window seat with the book I am currently reading, The Life of Pi, open, and I read this text message. All of a sudden I instinctively turn to the window and repress my tears. The rain drops falling slowly down the window pane of the train reflect my inner thoughts. The urge to cry tears of joy is also mixed in with a pleasurable frustration at the situation.

I want to text him: Baby, since the day we became one, I never walk in the rain anymore.

But I don't.

He knows that already...so I wipe the few tears away from my eyes and smile a smile that grows wider and wider until I reach the passenger seat of the car. At that moment, the smile folds my lips into the shape I most love - the shape of my lips on his.

"Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully..." ~ Jane Eyre



I have decided to start a new Monday tradition - Good Things. I will post for the next few Mondays during this season of sharing of what I think are good things and hope you will experience them as well!

1) A Good Blog: A close and dear friend of mine, whom I have known since fifth grade when we rode the school bus together, has started a new blog: http://senseandsensibilites.blogspot.com/ I am enjoying a side of him I never knew, even after all these years: his writing! Its a good thing, and I am tagging him (and all you other bloggers) to post your own "good things" this week on your blogs!

2) A Good Eat: My dear sister Missy knows my sweet tooth all too well, and she bought me a favorite goodie around Christmastime: Williams Sonoma Peppermint Bark! Its definitely a lovely item to serve after Christmas dinner, paired with a hot chocolate bar, of course! http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/fd471/index.cfm

3) A Good Bargain: I am a fan of the dollar store around this time of year. They have quality gift bags and plenty of good wrapping - there is no need to spend a lot on trimmings, and I find that the wine gift bags at my local dollar store are so lovely - they look like velvet covers. I even bought a few decorations for outdoors (I will post photos in another entry). A good website to help stay frugal in these times is here...I read it daily:http://www.walletpop.com/

4) A Good Cause: It is wonderful that so many people donate to charities this time of year. Sadly, so many are hurting because corporate sponsorship is down. I am still advocating donating to sarcoma research in hopes of a cure to this terrible form of cancer. You can donate here: http://www.curesarcoma.org/

5) A Good Read: I have been reading many food essays lately, and my favorite collection is something you will want for your collection. I devoured this book last month during my commute to and from the city each day. It is called Alone in the Kitchen with Eggplant. The essays are all about dining alone. http://www.aloneinthekitchen.com/ Oh, there are some great recipes for nights you are home alone, too!

6) A Good Article: Being Armenian, it is important to always remember the struggle of my ancestors. This is a great article from yesterday's New York Times Magazine by an Armenian-American author I admire and whose works I have read, Peter Balakian. http://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07lives-t.html?_r=3&ref=magazine

7) A Good Song: Lately I have been downloading some classical Indian music. Dating the Prince has opened me up to a gorgeous culture, and the music is as intoxicating as his aura. You can do some of your own listening here...performed by American college students at Wesleyan! It is as perfect as any Indian musical performance! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwdDm3UO5WM What these students have accomplished is mind blowing (make sure you read the lovely comments).

8) A Good Laugh: Jack has been watching reruns of the old Muppet Show that my sisters and I watched as kids. This particular montage, "Mahna Mahna" makes him laugh hysterically: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTXyXuqfBLA

9) A Good Burger: Two weeks ago the Prince and I did date night: dinner and a movie. We saw the film Twilight, and beforehand we ate at Five Guys Famous Burger! It was quite indulgent, but a great burger. Hopefully you have one in your area...I do recommend it for date nights! Oh, get the Cajun fries...those are a good thing! http://www.fiveguys.com/home.aspx

10) A Good Look: Commuting in the cold now makes me eye sweaters, but not just any. Not only do I love the Old Navy Sweater commercial from last year with a song that makes me always think of the Prince ("The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson). Check out this good sweater from this season in a great colors: http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=43069&pid=611846&scid=611846082

"About a little child..." ~ Jane Eyre

This is, by far, one of my favorite photos of my nephew ever. The past few years he has had nice photos with Santa, but this is, by far, the sweetest one. It captures the quintessential innocence, love, and joy children feel for this mythical "Father Christmas" who serves as a symbol of hope and magic. Jack does not associate Santa with toys...rather...he is the teacher of the boy who wouldnt believe from The Polar Express. He continues to love watching the film each day this Christmas season, and now he also has an actual train set to run around the Christmas tree! For Jack, Santa is the man who gives the little boy his sleigh bell to ring and hear hope from. :)

"The dining-room doors were thrown open, and, as it was Christmas-time..." ~ Jane Eyre

I have been ill for almost a week, home for the past few days, and grateful to be emerging from this awful cold that hit me quite hard. This late afternoon it finally dawned on me that it is, indeed, Christmastime. The adrenaline from that thought was enough to make me feel even better, and I spent the late afternoon in bed with pen in hand and holiday cards. I grabbed my Christmas music cd's and have had Sarah McLaughlin's Wintersong playing for a few hours now, the melodies beautiful to hear over and over again. Over the past few days, my sisters and I have begun to exchange emails about the menu for Christmas day. Jack's holiday photo arrived in my mailbox today as well, making it quite bright and merry indeed. I ordered part of the Prince's gift this afternoon, and I made a list of what Jack shall receive from his Aunty...all cooking related, of course! This holiday season also brings Cassie's wedding a few days before Christmas, making it even more of a magical time.

What I am most excited for is, of course, spending my first holiday season with the Prince. He had mentioned this a few months back, and I know it is going to be special just for the mere fact that he is a significant part of my life. This weekend we shall trim my tree, and that is always the aspect of Christmas I look forward to the most. Though we are in an inter-religious relationship, his family has put trees up over the years, so he knows the routine as well as I do. My plan is to actually lay out the ornaments first and put on my Christmas Cocktail cd as we trim (it has my favorite rendition of I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm sung by Dino). I have either peppermint, cinnamon, or regular hot chocolate to choose from as well. My plan as of now is to make dinner - mushroom risotto with smoked gouda - and have that before we get to the tree trim.

In a week and a half, J.Sarah and I will do our annual "Holi-day" in NYC! I think this is now our fourteenth year of making it a point to go see the tree together! We have made entire days out of it, but this year it will be a shortened version of seeing the tree and going to La Bonne Soup to have some Croque Madames and Branade! Despite how hectic life is, we just cannot miss this day...its already a huge part of our history as friends! I recall the days I used to make itineraries for us back in high school...oh how I wish I had those somewhere! Well, they are in my heart regardless.

Another tradition I enjoy is watching A Muppet Christmas Carol with my twin. We got into this groove as children and it just has not ended! I think there is something about it that brings us back to Christmases as children together, and its nice to revisit that. I asked my father to actually get the VHS tapes of one Christmas morning on to DVD - Robin and I were 7 and Missy was 11. It was the year of My Pretty Pony, Star Wars figures, a pewter Unicorn necklace that still sits in my jewelry box and a paperback copy of How The Grinch Stole Christmas from my parents who inscribed it and I still have it to this day.

What is most wondrous about this Christmas is that Jack is aware of it. Seeing it through his eyes this year will be priceless, indeed....

I cannot wait.

"The passions may rage furiously, like true heathens, as they are..." ~ Jane Eyre

I wanted to write about Thanksgiving...the weekend...the beautiful moments with family, friends, and my Prince...the gatherings and the smiles. I just cannot right now. I am too angry and too depressed to do so. All I see in my head is Moshe's Holtzberg's face, seen above, and him calling for his mother echoing through my head during her funeral service..he having been drenched in her blood a few days ago.

If I am thankful for one thing over the past few days, it is for the heroic Indian woman named Sandra Samuel, who not only rescued the two-year old baby, but will forsake her life in India to go to Israel and be with the child right now for his sake. She is selfless to the core, though making it harder to comprehend how such evil can exist in the same world as such good.

My fears mount over blaming all Pakistanis for this act of terror as well. My former landlord was Pakistani and one of the best men I know. He did marry an Indian woman...proving that harmony can exist between these two cultures that clash so much. I loathe that the media is focusing that these voices of the terrorists were speaking Urdu; I know it to be a beautiful language and the mother tongue of my landlord who gave me food from his table, never raised my rent in eight years, shared his family with me, and trusted me with his children. The media must be careful and remember that this is a small group amongst a larger one and to not go on the attack of the entire people.

At the same time, this act of hate against the Rabbi, his wife, and their son only confirms my strong believe in Zionism and the fact that I will always be dedicated to the State of Israel. I do believe that there are too many heathens out there who hate Jews so much that they will even try to kill their own brethren if they dare suggest that Muslims and Jews and Christians can live in harmony. I will never back down from my ideology that Israel cannot be divided and that a Palestinian state is only deserved when Palestinians love their children more than they hate Jews.

Once again, we were all attacked last week. Seeing Moshe's face all but kills me...