"Is that to make a sacrifice?" ~ Jane Eyre

My grandma Anoush always gave up something for Lent. She never ate meat on Fridays during lent, and, in a strange twist, she ate a great deal of matzoh the few weeks before Easter. Then, during Easter week, she would start preparing the Cheoreg (Armenian Easter bread) and dye eggs with the skins of onions.

I have been pondering the concept of sacrificing since yesterday. In Chapter 37 of Jane Eyre, Rochester tells Jane that she "delights in sacrifice." She retorts that of course she does. I don't know if its fair to judge those who sacrifice things in order to make themselves feel better. The outcome is still the same, is it not? Others in need will benefit somehow. I argue that it should make a person feel good when he or she gives something back to others; isnt that what we call humanity?

Jane Eyre is not a selfless character, nor was my Grandmother. I am not selfless either. I think that we can practice selflessness, but deep down it is important to maintain some selfishness. The older I get, the more I try and give back to others without sacrificing a part of myself; a part that should never be given up. I own that part, I need that part, and no one else deserves that part but myself.

That part is my dignity.

I have learned that I can love someone without being the giver all of the time, especially in romantic relationships. I have learned that I can take a little and it doesnt mean that a person will love me less; it means that the person will respect me more.

I was once told by a man that I was "too good." Maybe.

But I think that statement just means more so that the asinine men who either called me at 3am drunk, jerked my schedule around for dates, whined about petty matters with no real perspective on life, or create a tirade of excuses for inexcusable behavior, really illustrate that they were the ones who lacked dignity.

When it comes to work, I still believe that teachers are to be commended for their sacrifices. I respect my colleagues, and I give myself a pat on the back often. Can you really do my job? It makes me feel good knowing I have a special talent and that this talent is going to influence future generations in a good and positive way. I am fortunate that most of my juniors and seniors this year are good kids. Going to work is selfish of me, because they make me feel good. I think that is a wonderful thing.

On a different note about sacrifice and work, this post may be one of the last D.R. reads for a few months. You are someone I admire because you always maintain your dignity as you make one of the most noble of sacrifices for the greater good. Since day one you have had my utmost respect, and you have taught me so much about passion for protecting the freedom of others. I hope you get in this week; I am praying for it. Hoping and praying are my sacrifices, because I would love to have you around for another two months! HOOAH! You can do it.