Eyre Affairs

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

"As I can tell without compromising my own peace of mind" ~ Jane Eyre

I pushed the eggs around on my plate, for there was no room in my stomach for them. My insides were in a knot. I had been up for hours on this particular morning this past spring, waiting for him to come pick me up, wondering if this was the last time I would ever see him.

A few weeks earlier I had inquired as to what I could give him monetarily to help get the best body armor, for the Secretary of Defense at that time - and oh God I love saying at that time - was not providing good armor for the soldiers in the Army's infantry. I was then told that private armor was not allowed; a cruel dictate from the Defense Department. Not only had Rumsfeld not given the men in the infantry the best protection, but he purposely prevented them from having it.

My question over our breakfast was unfair and I knew it.

It was just weeks before his deployment to Iraq.

"I don't understand," I said. "How can you tell me that you are okay with the fact that Rumsfeld is not providing you with the best protection and resources? How can you accept that?"

"I have to accept it."

Yes, I suppose he did. He was about to walk into a war zone, and this was not exactly the best timing for me to stage a protest, so I just kept pushing my food around and changed the subject. I felt the bile rise in my throat as I half participated in our breakfast conversation and half participated in my silent rage over the fact that a smarmy, incompetent, belligerent jerk off was head of our nation's defense.

I blame Rumsfeld directly for all the sleep I lost this summer. He needed to be three steps ahead in this war, and he was always just half a step ahead. I argued with D.R. constantly about this vile man, and I was always flustered when D.R. would defend him.

Yesterday at around 1pm I saw the main news headlines online, and my eyes widened and my spirits lifted. Rumsfeld resigned, Rumsfeld stepped down, Rumsfeld fired. I raced upstairs to the media center where I knew Bush's press conference would be on. I sat there with four other teachers who also raced upstairs in joy after hearing of this poetic justice, staring at the screen with the corners of my mouth directed upwards in a small, faint smile.

I slept peacefully last night in hopes that perhaps this would even mean no deployment again next year. Perhaps there is now someone who is going to be three steps ahead, or maybe even four, who will be a better support to the soldiers and a better "architect" in the rebuilding of Iraq. Perhaps there will be more equity in who deploys, and perhaps D.R. won't miss another summer here in the United States. Perhaps there will be longer strides to get to peace quicker. All of this hope gives my insides little peace since it is all enough to send my heartbeat "a thumpin'."

For the first time in a long time, I feel joy in the morning.

16 Comments:

Blogger ThoughtsGalore said...

Let me say this...my friend. I miss you, too, btw. My husband called in a panic yesterday. Asking me if I was watching the news. He was frantic...a good frantic, though.

"Rumsfeld Resigned!"

My hubby...USMC Major of infantry guys...company commander...sighing with relief.
xoxo
C

9:20 AM  
Blogger Connie said...

No Rummy is a good Rummy. Now with the Dems in control of the House and Senate, let the impeachment hearings begin. And, of course bringing the troops HOME! To rip off NPR, This I Believe.

9:57 AM  
Blogger Marty said...

Rumsfeld Resigns! Best news I've heard in years. With Democrats in the majority now...maybe there's hope for positive steps?

In VA, we're all silently laughing at Allen's iminent loss. What a jackass.

Just wanted to say, you're not the only one smiling. While I don't have personal ties to the troops, it makes me ill knowing they're over there in that civil war.

10:16 AM  
Blogger Princess in Galoshes said...

Congrats to you and D.R., and good riddance to Rummy! Here's to the next guy being better (it shouldn't be too hard, the bar's not set very high.)

11:16 AM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

TG ~ Hello my dear; I miss you too and promise to visit you this evening. :) I am so happy that your husband is feeling relieved!

Connie ~ I seriously think Rummy ran away because the Dems had dirt and were going to go after him; he will have his day in court one way or the other.

Marty ~ Oy, between Webb and Allen, I don't know what to say! Still, at least a Dem is in! :) Hooray for the Dems!

Princess ~ Thank you so much. D.R. is away working on getting his Ranger tab, so I even wonder if he has found this news out yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed about Gates, too.

3:48 PM  
Anonymous lime said...

yeah, we're having a freakin' party over here in DC. everyone who rubbed 04 in our faces around the office has been surprisingly quiet this week...Yay for jim webb! looks like my vote actually counted!

PA-07 has turned over as well...hm. should i care?

;)

4:07 PM  
Blogger Clem said...

Your joy radiates by the end of this post. I am happy for you and I only just stumbled on you today. My best wishes.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hurray!
i'm afraid protective equipment for the soldiers has been shoddy for years
though.

5:11 PM  
Blogger David said...

Wow, we had many of the same thoughts! I imagine many people of all political stripes are waking up and feeling relief.

I was listening to NPR and someone made the point that getting rid of Rummy was indeed a premptive move to avoid embarrasing hearings. Now that the Dems control such things, you can bet your bottom dollar, Rummy would have had a lot to answer for. And really, this goes beyond partisanship. If you're doing a crappy job, you get fired, plain and simple.

5:12 PM  
Blogger David said...

And keep in mind, a whole coterie of retired generals had asked for his resignation months ago. Military guys. During a time of war. Criticizing the guy in charge. We're not talking about flaky NPR listeners like myself... ;) Bottom line, all of us in this country what is BEST for this country.

5:14 PM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Lime ~ Cheers to the Dem in VA! ;) The 04-ers will rue the day in 08!

Clem ~ Thank you for visiting here and thank you so much for your kind words.

Schaumi ~ Yes, well Gates better change that. I know that there is such little protection against an IED, but every little bit helps.

David ~ Flakey NPR people rock. I say this because I am one. ;) Great minds think alike, Nekkid. Our station here is WNYC and I pledge each fall in their fundraising drive. I got a cool orange tote last year that I love to wear around the city because it advertises WNYC. Anyway, I digress: I believe Rummy was about to get raked over the coals and believe that theory. As for the generals, D.R. criticized them for criticizing Dummy Rummy. Go fucking figure. And he hates NPR. Sometimes I wonder how he and I are friends. Good thing he is off for training to get his Ranger tab and I can say with glee that NPR RULES without any repercutions.

5:43 PM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Oh, and the same goes for The New York Times...it rules! :)

5:44 PM  
Blogger K9 said...

/bark bark bark

dear lady jane, kindest regards to you for your thoughtful comment at SK9. happy for your joy. should i ever dogpaddle to your door, i trust that the NYT will be a welcome relieve after a long journey. /howl!

grrrrrrrrl, please!

/howl

8:35 PM  
Blogger the queen said...

Ah, how we danced at work. And we didn't even have a good personal reason, at least not one as good as yours.

8:53 PM  
Blogger Barry said...

I think the reason he stepped down when he did (or got fired, or whatever happened) was because he was a goner a couple of monhs ago. Kind of the last straw thing - history may be able to explain it - I am not sure I should right now.

Anyways, they weren't going to get rid of him right before the elections - ain't it a shame fighting a war comes down to politics for our country ( yes I said ain't) :P - but frankly, it does.

I just hope we don't wind up worse instead of better - time will tell.

2:53 AM  
Blogger ThursdayNext said...

Barry ~ I am trying to be hopeful in thinking that this change is for the better. Rumsfeld even left an in his typical arrogant ass hole way, telling us that only *he* knew what the war in Iraq was like. He makes me sick. How dare he! I think Gates is a good man and will be open to working with the current American military leaders in Iraq. This has got to change for the better, because it has been worse for so long. Hang in there, Barry, for I do believe it will be better.

9:28 AM  

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