Eyre Affairs

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Friday, January 04, 2008

"Her salary will be thirty pounds a year..." ~ Jane Eyre

If my life were opening movie credits, I would say that my twenties was the opening from a Rogers and Hammerstein musical: hopeful, naive, and spanning wide open spaces with endless possibilities. A bit too whimsical, a tad too unrealistic...

As I enter my thirties at the end of this month, I would say the opening credits parallel Breakfast at Tiffany's. The music of Mancini is beautiful, but there are undertones of sadness in Moon River...a bit melancholy despite the lyrics about friends and rainbows. The character is a bit worse for the wear from pain, but still doing things that make her feel content and hopeful. Despite elegance and confidence and a big heart, neither myself or Holly have a diamond engagement ring from Tiffany's. Still, it is of no matter, because we can both hop in a New York City taxi cab at any time and go where we feel the most safe and secure. For Holly, it is Tiffany's and for me it is probably The Met. Nothing bad can happen there among Van Gogh paintings and ancient sculptures of Demeter because one remembers that one can, indeed, leave a legacy in so many creative ways. At thirty, I appreciate the simple things in life, like drinking my first cup of coffee in the morning as Holly does. She, too, knows you have to feed your soul literally and figuratively. As rich and full as my daily life is with friends and family, there are mornings that exist for me in solitude such as Holly's, where we drink coffee and ponder the same things. In some ways I feel like I have been a call girl to my career in my twenties as a teacher, compromising myself and allowing the lack of morals of students and parents around me to overrun my life; I put myself out there for far too long. There are no regrets, just going the way of the dream-maker, as Johnny Mercer puts it.

In the opening credits Holly stares at a chandelier in the store's window and tilts her head as she focuses on her symbol of hope. She isn't quite there yet, but she knows she will get there. She will get security and she will get the unconditional, committed romantic love she always dreamed of as a little girl. She turns the corner off of 5th with confidence...

I am not there yet, but I will get there. This I am confident about; I will get to the rainbow's end.

*At this time the clip of the scene is not available on any videostreams online, which is an indicator to you that you need to rent the film and enjoy each moment, from the opening credits to the final scene. If you choose not to Netflix, than you are missing a masterpiece, including the best film opening credits in the English language to date...*

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12 Comments:

Blogger moi said...

Dahlink, you couldn't give me back my twenties if Johnny Depp presented them to me on a silver platter with Brie and champagne. I adored my thirties. (Hint: so far, the forties are spectacular, too! Just, please, God, not the twenties again!)

8:38 AM  
Blogger ThoughtsGalore said...

You'll love your 30s. I hope. :) It's really better than the 20s thinksgs become so much clearer. I promise.
xoxo
Christie

9:30 AM  
Blogger roller coaster teacher said...

What a beautiful reflection this is on the soul and spirit ... thanks for sharing your thoughts!

4:56 PM  
Blogger foam said...

about your thoughts on teaching..
that's how i feel..
and i just know you will find the gold pot at the end of the rainbow..
enjoy your 30s. they are great ... but they do reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally fly by quick..:)
ps: i adored the movie..

5:06 PM  
Blogger Frumteacher said...

Only you can describe this moment in such a beautiful way. This will be a wonderful decade for you!

3:49 PM  
Blogger Wizened Wizard said...

The twenties were your introduction as a character to be followed... the thirties will be your blossoming as you write your own script and go on to stardom. The best of times to you, my huckleberry friend!

8:10 PM  
Blogger Charlie Mc said...

I've come into my own in my 30's. I'd take them over my 20's anyday. Although I did hit a game winning 3run HR in softball the night before my 30th birthday.... :)

The only downfall to your 30's...drinking recovery time increases....

I am being silly. I think in my 30's I've been much more aware of things around me, much wiser, and for the first time ever, I really can see a big difference between me and someone in their mid 20's or younger....makes you feel "old" in a way, but in a good way.

11:08 AM  
Blogger Vixen said...

Entering your 30's?! I feel old (36). I've enjoyed my 30's the most so far.

Ok, I have to go watch this movie now, good thing I own it! :)

1:54 AM  
Blogger she said...

how wonderful of a post. im exactly in this place as well...only i WISH i was looking at 30. dear God! in my er....40s i am certain to feed my soul no explanation necessary. i was a teacher in my twenties too, i left and have never regretted it. (but we already had this conversation)

im starting a business and my studio life has changed a bit. where before i just sort of came in and if i "felt like it" i made a painting. but now i have real concrete tasks to accomplish. i like it! and, im very happy to work toward something...it is the chandelier in the window but where i hope to get and stay is beneath the canopy of forest once and for all.

loved. this. post. and happy new year!

3:14 PM  
Blogger Mayden' s Voyage said...

Amy- my sister and I had a short- but powerful conversation today about the things I should do v/s the things I am doing. There have been so many days that I failed to feed my soul- and my spirit, failed to take time for me, but no longer.
Except for the ways I see and feel myself aging- I feel young, and like I've never had more to gain- or more to accomplish- or had more ability to do what I set my mind to do.
I think...I feel just like you! :)

*If my life were opening movie credits...it'd be from Monty Python's Holy grail :)
(see all the lovely mooses!)

9:32 PM  
Blogger Aunty Belle said...

Aw, youse already theah Darlin', jes' ain't recognized it! All this advice is true-30s is so fine, no regrets fer leavin' yore 20s...but 40s will be better still, cause youse insightful so by then you'll be leadin' Holly!

(in mah family we say "mean reds" when we's blue--all because of Holly)

10:22 PM  
Blogger Clearlykels said...

Happy New Year, my dear. I've missed you as well.

I could not agree with you more. As I sit here very early this morning with my cup of tea, I am very thankful for all of my amazing friends and my life, but a little less solitude would not hurt me either.

I'm glad to be back.

5:44 AM  

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